Thursday, October 29, 2009


Do you run because you love it or because you are afraid?

Do you find that Crossfit influences other parts of your life?
Insufficiently. For example, the facts of weight and strength distribution, the accomplishment of seemingly insurmountable tasks, the lifting of very heavy things over one's head, one would think that such physical manipulations might lead one to the conclusion that other tasks which are, on the surface, easier to accomplish would seem less daunting, nay! easy, in comparison. But alas, dear readers, this is not the case. Words do not magically appear on the page, nor does time expand and slow, nor does the sun rise earlier or set later. Still, as one who can deadlift and one who can clean AND jerk, one would hope that say, writing a novel would come easily. But nay, it is not to be.

What do you eat?
I eat only the flesh of skinny animals or those that swim or larger animals, but only if they were happy. I eat the apples and the bananas and the shakes that taste like dessert but are really medicine. I eat the eggs and the spinach and the cheese. I eat the yogurt. I eat the honey. I drink the coffee, and yes, it owns me, it is my master, the black elixir that giveth and taketh away the pain.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
There is water and a blue sky. The shine during the day is bright and of the sun; at night, small fires. Sometimes there is wine, often chocolate. During the day, Spanish is spoken and at night there is silence. There are tastes of smoke and the sea, the strong scent of pine and rain.

And what about tomorrow?
Always, I am amazed.

She said to me, she said, never this and then that, never should, never could have, never no.

What does this word mean?
That word?

And how happiness?
Only there is no doorway, no rooftop, no next. In this, I have seen and know, so it must be.

Well then.
So goodbye.

Monday, October 19, 2009

One of the Sadnesses of Challenge Month

Just now, thinking about making some snack for Son, I became a little heartsick at the thought of not baking things for him...the idea that I can't sit in the breakfast nook with him, eating a homemade cookie and talking about how good they are, knowing I made them, that unlike other cookies, this one had something intangible baked into it, that one of the expressions of feeling is making things, food, for other people. Sadly, much of this food involves flour and sugar.
I know, next month will be different and I can make cookies again, and, more importantly, pie. But just now, just for a minute, I was a little sad.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Quantity vs. Quality

I'm teaching a novel writing class and we are using the No Plot? No Problem! philosophy of shooting for the word count, quality be damned. It's also a kind of variation on Anne Lamott's idea of Shitty First Drafts. Just get it down, you can fix/revise/cut it later.
However, yesterday as I speed-typed my way to 20,000 words (even I, the teacher, am about 4,000 words behind), my novel took a turn for the weird. And by weird, I mean paranormal, maybe, but it could just be first-person delusion. Or, it could have been a weird coincidence. But, my question to you, oh wise and worldly readers, is: do I go with this weird turn? I'm afraid it might mean that when I reach the 50,000 word mark (the goal), that I will have to cut the last half the book and rewrite that.
Or, I could just say, okay, that's weird, but I can rewrite that little chunk later, and go on with the book as if that weird/paranormal/delusional part never happened. (Except I got a good section of description and I could go back and revise it so it's not so important in the overall plot of the book).
My normal philosophy of writing would be to go with it and see where it takes me. I'm worried, however, that this weird turn will make what I am trying to do (an artsy/noir/mystery type thing) into something else (a paranormal mystery/young adult series). Not that the something else is BAD (though it could be terrible) it's just not what I set out to do.
What to do? What to do?
Please help. For now, I'm stuck.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Categories of Men

Now that I'm over 40 (cough, cough), I look around and put males into certain categories. I mean Men that catch my eye for some reason (their pants are falling off, they are cute, they smile at me, they try to chat me up).
  1. "I'm old enough to be his mother!"
  2. "I'm not old enough to be his mother, but I still couldn't date him, because he doesn't know who George Michael is."
  3. "He might be a suitable partner, if MB ever wises up to my insanity and divorces me."
  4. "I would make him a nice trophy wife."