How To Party: The Crossfit Version

Having attended my first "real" Crossfit party, I now have a greater understanding of how to approach this beast, which is part entertainment, part athletic event. Here are some guidelines for those of you who may not have had the pleasure yet. This will help you know what to expect.

1. Wear loose fitting pants, NOT because you are going to eat a lot, but because, at some point, someone will start doing a Crossfit exercise, pistols or burpees, and you will be called on to demonstrate what you do best, whether it be splits or handstand pushups or side crow,. Be prepared.
2. Study up on military heroes, generals of past wars and obscure celebrities. Why? Because you may be called upon to describe this person in one or more words or to act out this person in a game of charades and this requires that you know who the person is when you read their name on a piece of paper. Just be sure you know which branch of the military is most popular among your Crossfit friends and study that branch. Also, sports heroes who are in the news for sleeping around appear prominently.
3. Try to understand the nuances of all the different diets your friends are on. There's the paleo, the green face, the Zone, and variations of each wherein people eat no grains or some grains or no dairy or some dairy or no chocolate or some chocolate. Or just say fuck it and bring a big bag of Doritos and some beer (FYI: Doritos and beer are not paelo or zone or warrior).
   
4. Bring your drinkin' stomach. You know that one person who kicks your ass every day at the gym? He/she can also drink you under the fucking table. Believe you me.
5. After you have consumed more alcoholic beverages in more categories than you thought possible, be prepared for the feats of strength. These can include, but are not limited to: indian leg wrestling, burpees, push ups, handstand push ups and various body contortions that may or may not be based on yoga. The alcohol you consumed will help you relax into whatever uncomfortable positions you may find yourself in after getting beat down by your opponents.
6. For every alcoholic beverage, drink two glasses of water. This may apply to all parties, but is especially important in this case, because no matter how much you drank, everyone will expect to see you at the gym, bright and early.
7. Take some fish oil before you go to sleep. This applies to all nights, not just the one of the party. But after the party it might help you forget the injuries you sustained in the feats of strength.
   
8. The next day, photos of you will appear. So just be sure that when you take off your shirt to display your guns, you know where all the cameras are.
   

Yesterday's Post, 10 hours late

I thought about blogging last night, and I may have had an idea about what to say, but now I am drinking coffee and thinking about pie. First, there is no flour in the house. So I'll have to make pie after my tennis lesson, which is at 10:30.
But first a word about my "diet": For each week there are three "open" meals and you can eat anything. But, and here's the catch, after not eating certain foods, you eat them, and then you feel like crap. So the diet is self-enforcing in the sense that you may eat them, but you don't want to. I went out to dinner with a friend last night. I ate hummus and bread, which tasted good. But let me tell you, nothing is so delicious as a potato when you haven't had one for 10 days. After dinner, however, I felt that stuffed, full feeling. And today my stomach doesn't feel so great. So I will definitely think long and hard about which of the tantalizing "forbidden" foods I will eat during my open meals.
But the only thing on the menu today is pie, pie, pie.

Day 2: Post 2

So I guess I'm supposed to be blogging every day, although nothing of note has happened to day for me to blog about.
Except: I went for a run. Then I had a smoothie. Then I made some shrimp and ate two. I need to take a shower and grade papers. I need to clean the house.
Well, in my crazy-eating-habits way, I started a new diet. And by diet I just mean way of eating, not weight loss regimen. You may have heard of it: The Paleo Diet.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. But, it focuses on lean protein at every meal (and since I'm almost hypoglycemic I need to do this anyway) and fruits and veggies. Having read some of the book, I would have to say that it jives with what I think I need to avoid to feel better. The doctor who wrote it also blames many of our food allergies and illnesses (like IBS, Chron's, etc.) on eating foods that are difficult for us to digest (like grains and legumes and dairy).
So, we'll see how it goes. So far I like that I feel full without having that stuffed, over full feeling. And on phase I, which I am on and plan to continue, you get three open meals a week where you can eat anything you want.
So. Wish me luck.