Misconceptions about the Syllabus

Because I have one more class schedule to put together, I have become very adept at finding things to do instead.
For example: work out and then make a delicious fritatta. Also: attend Son's Lego competition, make a salad, go to Lego after-party. Then: make tea.
So, now I have stolen a blog idea from HTMS's blog, by looking up blog topics on HubSpot.

Here's one:  Misconceptions about the Syllabus (go!)

1. The damn things write themselves. Truth is: they don't!
2. Students read them. (Wait! I can't stop laughing! Oh! Ouch! My laughing muscles!)
3. What they say has a one to one correspondence with reality. For about ten minutes, yes! After that, the text to reality ratio diminishes in direct proportion with the amount of time that has elapsed since it was constructed.
4. What it says matters. (Again! The laughing muscles! So sore!)
5. When you write "Don't use your cellphone, idiot!" or words to this affect, students actually take these to mean "Hey, put your cellphone away and pay attention!" No. What they perceive instead is an emoticon of a smiley-winkey face with a voice like Homer Simpson that is saying "Cell phones!" 
6. I care about them.
7. You care about them.
8. Students care about them. 
9. People in the future care about them. (They are too busy driving their solar powered hover crafts to worry about your stupid class!)
10. They are the fuel of the academic fire. (If you mean the compost that becomes the fuel, then yes).

Well, I hope this blog post has illuminated the mysterious world of syllabi for you all. 

Sorry, and Shame and Anxiety

Holy Hell! I haven't blogged in months. Thanks, Nik & Hightouch, for bringing me to my senses.
Like others, I am caught up in the dread of the academic year. I have so much to do, that instead I look at Facebook for hours, not really "doing" anything, but more like, looking, staring off into space, thinking, remembering way back in May when I anticipated this moment when it came to me that the summer was, really and truly, almost over.
Sigh.
So I've been working on those fucking syllabi, and drinking wine, and trying to eat sensibly, and meanwhile driving around hell and back to get new plates for the new car (yes, we bought a new car) and then a new parking sticker and then to Costco for vegetables and meat (so much meat!) and then home to make salmon for dinner and to play Apples to Apples with son and then drink wine while I did five weeks of my syllabus only to discover that the semester which has not yet begun is not moving fast enough.
Sigh.
Is it Fall Break yet?

Staying In

Sometimes, after an exhausting week, it's nice to stay in, which is what we did last night. We watched Mellouli of Tunisia beat the favorite in the men's 1500m Freestyle and win the first Tunisian swimming medal. We watched Phelps win his eighth gold (Son and I were chanting "USA! USA!" as they brought it home), and we watched Dara Torres win silver. I am a little irritated that no one is really talking about how Natalie Coughlin has won more medals than any other American female swimmer, because Phelps overshadows all. You can see it all for yourself here.
But oh well.
MB and I drank the expensive wine I bought him for our anniversary. As we were finishing it, MB said, "I won't regret paying so much for this wine. I regret other things, but not that." It was good wine. I even took a picture of it. Maybe I'll post it someday. We also watched some "Battlestar Galactica."
We are both neck deep in syllabi construction, deconstruction and reconstruction. It's hard to think about what we're going to do in class after Thanksgiving when right now it's still August, and, frankly, a little bit hot. It all seems so very abstract. But come Wednesday it will be oh so real. Actually it will be real on Tuesday, but I don't want to think about that now.
I'm going to work, ever so briefly, on my course websites. Then I'm going to talk Son in to listening to some more Harry Potter. It turns out that I am not crazy and that Jim Dale, who reads the books, IS also the narrator for "Pushing Daisies." Have I mentioned how happy I am that I am now seeing promos for all my favorite shows which are indeed returning to my TV this fall?
Which shows, you ask? So far I have seen promos for "The Office," "Pushing Daisies," and, yes, "Lipstick Jungle." Before you laugh, I have one thing to say: Brooke Shields. And that sexy Brit who plays her husband. Okay, that was more than one thing. But I'm allowed. I'm a teacher on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Good thing I'm staying in!