Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Malaise, Part II

Today my malaise is lessened, perhaps by the friends (real, actual friends, not those FB types!) who express concern about my general state.
It could be, also, that Wednesday malaise is always and forever a lesser malaise than Monday.
Or, could it be, the sunshine? The snow visible on the mountains?
Or still yet, could it be that from Wednesday one can see, shimmering mirage-like in the distance, Friday? And beyond that, the dry expanse of something known as the weekend which, surely, will contain an opportunity for recovery? Recovery, one hopes, from this general malaise.
Also, it should be said, the enormous amount of grading can not be insignificant in this general, overall malaise-type feeling.
One should also, perhaps, not sit, mooning over photographs of a younger, leaner self with a younger, more squishable Son while drinking coffee that is, admittedly, good and perhaps a cure for morning variety malaise. The photographs do no good! They cause regret! Put them away!! (but look first, again, at the general adorableness of the Son. Observe it, as well, in his actual self, silently eating cereal in the kitchen).
I feel, again and ever, like Alfie the child in "Annie Hall."
"What's the use?" he laments. "The universe is expanding."
Indeed, Alfie. Indeed.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Understanding My Malaise

How do you know if your malaise is a general malaise or if it is a specific malaise? This sounds like a quiz I should be constructing/taking on BuzzFeed.
But in the absence of this amazing quiz that will solve all my problems, I am instead staring out into the distance, developing a hierarchy of tea and sadness, and also listening to songs on YouTube while "grading" (read: pretending to grade while wasting time).
In any case, during the throes of my malaise yesterday, which might have been just Post-Spring Break/Monday Malaise I deactivated my Facebook account.
Why? Why, you may ask??
Well, there are many reasons, number one of which is that it is my number one time suck. The result, today at least is that I *did* in fact grade perhaps a few more papers, but also I found other ways to waste time. WIN for me!
Also, lately, FB has made me feel bad. Not like, oh, look at that cute puppy, I wish I could adopt him but I can't. Sad face.
But bad like, why X instead of Y (about the general nature of the universe), also why doesn't Z like Q or me? Or why does W keep posting about guns?
Like BAD BAD, as in, is the nature of the universe evil? Am I stupid for feeling left out? (so maybe it's just severe narcissism I'm suffering from??)
In general, these were the minority of the FB posts, but also I have like 10 million friends I don't know and the idea of trying to figure out who to delete and is that bad for my writing career... (answer: who cares!!).
Anyway, that is why I find myself blogging, which I think is a GOOD thing, so I'll just keep blogging over here in my corner by myself while the rest of you loll on the beach and have cocktails together. I'm hoping I'm get some actual THINGS done (besides FB posts I mean...)

*the end*