What's My Motto?

Over round there at Hightouch, she is thinking about mottos and whatnot.
Seeing as how I am now a Level 1 Crossfit Certified Trainer (TM), I feel I need a motto that reflects the various facets of my personality, my English PhD-ness, my Crossfitty self, my bad mothering. You know, all of me.

• Fixing your grammar and your air squat

How's that? It seems a little literal and perhaps too long. Also, not catchy.

• Dr. Crossfit, Bitches

Seeing as how I am not really a doctor, this might not work.

• I'm not your mother, I'm a writer with a stopwatch.

Again, not catchy. And really wouldn't make sense to anyone but me. And maybe one other person.

• Often confuses Crossfit with Mothering

Yeah, that would go over well at the gym...and at home.

• Ridding the world of bad form across broad time and modal domains

Oh yeah, that's it. Again, only a few people will get it.

I used the slogan generator that Hightouch linked to. Here's my favorite:

• Something happens after a pull up

Enough said.

What "hate" Means to a 9 Year Old

This morning, when I took my son's book away because he needed to eat breakfast instead of read, he threw a Royal Fit which consisted of him screaming and stomping and throwing a basketball at MB. Then, of course, he shouted at me, red in the face, "I hate you!"
Of course it made me angry, but what does the word "hate" really mean to a 9 year-old?
Let's consider some of its uses:

• "I hate ______!" (insert name of vegetable): This means: I don't like it, I won't try it. You can't make me!
• "I hate ______!" (insert school subject): This means: It's difficult, or they try to tell me what to do.
• "I hate Justin Beiber!": This means, I hate Justin Beiber, and really, who can blame him?
• "I hate cleaning my room!" : This is just an acknowledgement of a universal truth. Everyone hates cleaning. 
• "I hate you!" : This means, as my mother, you are supposed to love me, even when I scream like this at you. You still love me, right? Wait, I'm going to throw something! Now do you still love me? Wait! I can scream louder! Louder still! I'm still screaming. I can do whatever I want and you still have to feed me breakfast! You can't deny me breakfast! It's illegal! Where's my breakfast? What do you mean I still have to go to school? I'm screaming! 

So, in this short post I have proven when a 9 year old yells, "I hate you!" at his mother, what he really means is "I need a hug." 

My (3) Days of Single Motherhood

Well, Middlebrow went off to his fancy conference to eat and drink and be merry, leaving me to keep Son alive and make sure Gus the Dog doesn't eat more than his share of plastic ware.
So far, okay. According to Son, Dad lets him have unlimited soda and chocolate when I'm gone. My goal has been to allow him only one sugar snack per day. So far: I have failed. Yesterday, he had ice cream, then we had chocolate, and finally dessert at a party. Today our neighbor gave us doughnuts, then we had soda at the movie, and shared some M&Ms. Oye vey!
But so far my overwhelming feeling has been one of lessened expectations. I'm sure if I actually were a single mother, I'd just have to get used to the fact that my time was limited and adjust my schedule accordingly. But given that I'm only on my own for three days, I've used it as an excuse to just be okay doing nothing. "Nothing" in this scenario means nothing productive for myself or house related.
However, I have taken the dog to the park twice for a nice catch. Son & I went out for a relatively healthy dinner. Then I read.
It's nice to have a leisurely evening where I don't feel like I have to do anything, but maybe have a beer or read or something. And make sure Son takes a shower every few days and eats at least one or two vegetables along with his RDA of sugar.
Also, the second thing I've learned in my faux Single Motherhood is that I just have to do stuff. Truthfully, I let many chores fall to Middlebrow (as he does with me, see: cooking, laundry, etc.). But when he's gone, I say to myself, well, I guess I'm just going to have to do that. And then I do. Sometimes.
We'll see if I follow through and actually mow the lawn tomorrow. I think I can, I think I can...

When the Goose is Away

I know that's not the phrase, but it's apt. This weekend while Middlebrow was pursuing his Tallness Studies, I bonded with the wee one. We played Sorry (he wins every time!), read a few chapters of The Incredible Journey, played baseball in the backyard, and let Gus tug us along for a walk.
I watched a girly movie, "The Holiday," which I actually liked for many reasons.

1. Cameron Diaz: despite myself, I'm starting to actually like her; see "In Her Shoes."
2. Jude Law: dimples. No explanation needed.
3. Kate Winslet: already liked her. still like her.
4. Jack Black: not overly jokey, for once. Great!
5. Adorable sub-plots: kids, old men.
6. Amanda (Diaz) makes movie trailers for a living. Sometimes she hears movie trailers for her own life in her head. Complete with the movie trailer voice guy. These were some of my favorite surprising moments. I want someone to make a movie trailer for my life!
7. Heart: Lately I just want a movie with heart. Some emotion. Down with irony and cynicism! I want my romantic comedies to be romantic and funny with happy endings.

I also managed to drink a little too much red wine (oops!) and stay up late listening to Justin Timberlake and Shakira (and the Dixie Chicks and Cheryl Crow) on my iPod while doing (actually, messing up) Sodoku.

I also discovered I make a terrible single mother because I forgot to do the Easter Bunny shopping and had to have a friend do it for me. Easter was made more fun by my mid-afternoon nap which made me late picking up Middlebrow from the airport. Luckily, in the spirit of Easter, he was forgiving.

Made the basic potatoes-lamb chops-green bean Easter dinner. All in all it was a fun weekend. Did I mention the bottle of pre-made Margaritas? No? Well, those were good too. And the first meeting of my uber-writing group. All good.

Now it's the mad dash/sprint/grading marathon to the finish line.