I don't have much to say today. Wednesdays are exhausting like that.
I am thinking about the nature of goodness, whether we are, by nature, good, or whether it is only through good acts we can become good.
I don't mean doing something well, being good at something.
I mean doing good. Doing something good for someone just because.
Today I made Son lunch, but then I regretted it, because while he was standing around watching me scramble to get out the door he asked, "What have you been doing for the past 20 minutes?" And then I wish I hadn't made his sandwich and instead had just sat drinking coffee.
So if you regret doing something nice, does it negate the nice thing?
I got to see many friends today and talk to them, and that is always good.
I wish I could say I did something else nice for someone, but I don't think I did.
WAIT...I thought of one!
A student came in and she was almost in tears over her latest writing assignment, which was a summary. I read her draft it was pretty good. Sure, it could use work, but it was good. And she was asking if she should drop the class and take it later because it is so hard for her.
So after I read it, I told her it was good and what she needed to work on was believing she could do it, because she can.
So I think I helped her feel better about her writing, and I hope also about herself, as a writer. Maybe this doesn't qualify as doing good, because it is my job, but I did feel like I made a positive step with that student.
And Monday I saw a former student who I encouraged to apply to the Honors program and the U. She thanked me for the email I sent her, and she said it made her feel good that I believed in her. (Her parents are not supportive of her educational plans).
Okay, so that's two things for the week.
I'm not going to meditate tonight (a good thing for me) because I am so bleeping tired. I am going to drink water (good!) and go to sleep (sleep is good!).