Things missing from my house

1. That nice lady. You know, the one who comes and brings you clean towels and empties the trash and changes the sheets. You know, the one who does, basically, all the things you don't want to do.
2. Loads and loads of people. Most of whom you don't know.
3. Lots of books. I have a lot of books, but they would fit in like, 10 boxes. They would not, for example, fill up those many rooms in the basement or maybe not the basement of the Marriott.
4. That sweater. That I lost one night and found the next day, right where I lost it. And then I lost it again. And didn't find it. (Maybe it's with Nicole's hat? In the AWP museum of lost things? Because it was in DC and apparently, there? There's a museum for everything.)
5. Hightouchmegastore. And that's sad, because she's a good roommate. But she's a little sick and she probably missed The Historian and also her child/ren. But if she wanted to, I would let her live in my cold basement. 
6. Any sense that tomorrow is Monday and therefore a work day, that is, a day on work must be done. Because, basically I sat around all day feeling tired, doing laundry, and letting the interwebs eat what is left of my brain. 
7. Terrance Hayes. He, also, could live in my basement. Or wherever.
8. Sleep. But it will not elude me for long.
9. Tapas. I ate at the most excellent tapas bar in DC. I want the tapas people to be my live-in personal chefs. 
10. Absurdistan. I heard Gary Shteyngart read on Saturday night and he's like, totally fucking hilarious and I thought, oh, Middlebrow read that book and loved it, I'll read it when I get home. But he gave it to his BFF because, apparently, if MB likes a book and you don't jump on it immediately slathering like a hungry daschund, then he sulks and is all like, you don't like what I like, and then he gives the thing he likes away so that, eventually, when you decide you do like it, he can be all like, oh, I said you would like it, but no, you didn't take my word for it, you had to talk to Shteyngart himself and then you're all, oh, he's funny, give me the book. So, in other words, I'm going to have to get my own copy. 

Madagascar 2: The Adult Review

First, and I cannot say this strongly enough, I only like animated kids' movies with jokes for the adults. Hello, am I going to pay $5.50 for a movie that doesn't pander to me? The short answer is no. Wait, $5.50?? And, in addition, the movie theater was crowded!! We had to pick seats within the row, which, as many of you know, does not really account for the length of Middlebrow's legs. On the plus side, the fact that we arrived late meant that we only had to watch three trailers and not the requisite nine, along with multiple ads for soda and popcorn and turning off of the cell phones which we do not possess.
But, to the movie. Hilarious! Now, I know some have called it "mediocre" and "not as good as the first one" but, who are these people? Were they aware they were not watching "The Godfather, Part II" or even "Grease 2" ? (which was terrible, btw, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't watch it again given popcorn and a sudden rainstorm)
The best parts were, in this order: the penguins and King Julian. See, I could take or leave the main characters and the main plot line (though come on, Alec Baldwin! Did they think they could slip that one past me? and will.i.am? Bernice Mac?), but who doesn't love penguins with insane mechanical knowledge and a love of music that rivals my own? (Copacabana anyone?). Penguins who have to negotiate with monkeys because they can't use tools? (they have no thumbs!)
The best joke of the entire movie is when King Julian suggests that "we invade a neighboring country and impose our ideology on them even if they don't want it."
C'mon! What's not to love?

Exposing the Women's "Health" Scam

Leave it to The Daily Show to finally confront one of McCain's new tics: the use of "air" quotes.
Unsettling and funny. Watch for yourself.

Another funny song

I got this link via Otterbutt, and I've seen this crazy duo on other, similiar parody song/videos, but I thought this one was really good, and funny and true. Funny because it's true. Enjoy.