Minneapolis, MN

I do not know quite what to say about Minneapolis, except that, in my 48 hours here it has already been a city of extremes. Extremes of weather, extremes of energy levels, extremes of hunger and satiation, extremes of quality and quantity.

Yesterday, it snowed on me, and Hightouchmegastore as we were trying to find a restaurant despite Google maps. We did find it, but while we were walking there, we got snowed on. Sometimes it was hard pellets of water that felt more like angry BBs. Sometimes they were liked the triangles cut out of tissue paper snowflakes. But, in all these times, it was always cold, cold, cold. Honestly it was probably less than half-a-mile of cold & snow. But still. It is April. And we were on our way to have sangria! Which seems like it requires sunshine, etc.

But the bar, once we got there, was great. The sangria was great. A kind man who was just leaving gave us one seat. He was ridiculously handsome and he was carrying a kitchen store bag that had a cutting board in it. He was the gay friend in the Minneapolis sit-com version of my life.

At the bar, we had the delicious sangria, and chips and salsa and a delicious tamale. So delicious!

At the keynote address, first the mayor of Minneapolis came out and read us a poem. What mayor does that? Then she told us about how much she loves poetry and she told us to spend all our money in Minneapolis. (I'm doing my best!)
Then a writer who is, admittedly, not my favorite, gave a lovely keynote address. It was lovely, if a tad too long.
After that, the Utah friends came back to the hotel bar for some more snacks. This brings me to Sam.
Sam!
Sam is, without a doubt, our favorite person in Minneapolis, although today some other people gave him a run for his money.
Sam is our waiter in the hotel bar and restaurant. "Hotel bar and restaurant" conjures images of limp lettuce and watery martinis, but this bar is of the HNL. (Hole Nother Level). This hotel restaurant has the most delicious Brussells Sprouts salad in existence. Also, it turns out, they have a dessert which features pancakes and bananas that is crazy delicious.
But Sam is the distilled essence of Minnesota. He has the accent. He is stocky in that charmingly adorable Midwestern way. The way he says "Happy Hour" can only be pronounced in Minnesota. He is one of the reasons we want to eat all our meals in the hotel bar. The other reason is the Brussells Sprouts salad.
He was our waiter the first night, when, exhausted, we plopped in the hotel restaurant for dinner (after arriving around dinner time).  He was our waiter last night after the keynote. He said, "I'll be here all week," when we left last night.

Today when I got up, I was all cocky and happy. "At least it's not raining!" I exclaimed. Let me preface this by saying I did not sleep well on Tuesday night, I did not sleep well on Wednesday night...so, okay. But last night, I actually got some sleep! So this morning, I was all feeling good. So, yes, it was not raining. But when we emerged into the gray, Minneapolis morning, it was in fact snowing. So, okay, no biggie.
We had heard the legened of Caribou Coffee, so we walked there. A scattered riot of people stood near the espresso machine. Chaos! But we quickly figured out that they had ordered and were just waiting. Uh-oh....my coffee, when I got it, was strong and delicious, so I forgave CC for their understaffed chaotic whatever that was.

I went to a good panel on Experimental Writing.  And then a discussion about Creative Writing programs in Two Year Colleges. Got lost in the Bookfair. Wandered. Bought analog text items. Etc.

THEN, dear reader, I walked with HighTouch to the Center for Book Arts. Amazing! Delightful! Inspiring! Yet another opportunity to spend my money in Minneapolis! The kind cashier, quickly ingratiating herself onto my "Favorite People" list, told me that the round blue building was the Guthrie Theater and that we could walk out on their balcony (the Endless Bridge).
So we walked through Gold Medal (flour) Park while our friend Karin, who had gone on the tour of the old factory, told us about explosive flour! And flour that blocks the river!
Then we got directions for how to get to the Endless Bridge from the nice conceirge who told us that if we hadn't been, we should go to the 9th floor, and that "we were in for quite a treat."
The Endless Bridge reaches out from the building so that one can see the Mississippi River and all the other amazing things there (a railroad bridge that is now pedestrians only), the park, trails, etc.
On the 9th floor, the "treat" was yet a still more astounding view of the park and the river and the flour factory, etc.

What happened next is even more amazing & hilarious & Minneapolis-love inducing but it is So! Late! here in MSP that I will have to delay in telling you about the Speakeasy and the Farm to Table dining until tomorrow.

Adieu!

Short Letters

I stole this idea from my favorite people, Hightouchmegastore and Nikwalk.


Letter 1

Dear Google Maps,
Because your name starts with "Google" I'm all "yes, I can trust this map in primary colors" and "yes, even when it takes me on a round about route, that's fine, okay, I can dig that." But today, TODAY, GM, you had us walking outside in the snowflakes made of little shredded tissues of ice, and we were wandering saying, Where is this restaurant which GM says is right here, on the very spot where we stand?
Well, it wasn't there, but instead about two blocks away. Two blocks in the wet snowy cold. But, LO!, when we got there, there was sangria! and chips! and salsa! and then, eventually, a tamale!
So even your fawning ineptitude could not take the shine off what was, indeed, a very Happy Hour.
Sincerely,
Unlost


Letter 2

Dear Minneapolis,
Seriously?
Coldly,
Should Have Worn My Coat

Letter 3

Dear Conference,
I know that when I was younger, say, in graduate school, that 8:30 seemed like a perfectly reasonable time for an event to start. But now, now that I am older and, yes, wiser, I want all the things to start one after the other so that they will be over sooner and so that I can go back to my room and put on my pajamas.
Okay?
Thanks.
Sincerely,
Sleepy

AWP redux: Boston!

I have (very) recently returned from Boston, the land of snow & chowdah. & lobstah & some writers.
First let me say that I did not sleep either very much or very well, so my disposition on returning home is cloudy (inside the head). But, I am glad to be home and I am also glad I went.

1. Number of meals/etc. with Nikwalk: 3-ish? One might have been drinks that bled into dinner, so maybe I could count that as two? Whatever the answer, it was awesome!! But I could've handled more. 
2. Stuff learned: some. I got some good ideas for my novel writing class and I learned some things about Book Arts, which is relevant to the Publication Class I'm teaching now. The other panels were sort of blah ho hum.
3. Number of readings attended: Three. It seems like more. Don DeLillo. He is awesome. As Lisa B. said, he is like someone's old Italian grandfather. He seems like a reclusive curmudgeon with a dry sense of humor. I could have listened to him talk for hours. The person he "conversed" with was interesting, but I found her fiction too detailed. It reminded me of the Lynn Emanuel poem where she says she doesn't want to write fiction because she doesn't want to describe the carpet. I want to write fiction and also not describe the carpet
4. Best thing ever: Jeanette Winterson. I felt like I was at a TED talk. She walked around and read and took off her glasses and used interesting voices. She talked about how important art is, and I love that. Also she is petite and she seemed really friendly.
5. Best meal: I don't know. I'm too tired to think about it. I think I liked the tapas at Toro best, because you know I am a sucker for tapas.
6. Most overrated thing: Bone Marrow. What is that about? Sorry, Nik.
7. Best thing in life: sleep.
8. Best excursion: MFA. I love art! It made me remember that I need to be more involved with art at home. I got to see one of my favorite paintings, Millet's "The Sower." So I'm happy about that.
9. I have some good stories to tell, but you'll have to see me in person to hear those. 

Things missing from my house

1. That nice lady. You know, the one who comes and brings you clean towels and empties the trash and changes the sheets. You know, the one who does, basically, all the things you don't want to do.
2. Loads and loads of people. Most of whom you don't know.
3. Lots of books. I have a lot of books, but they would fit in like, 10 boxes. They would not, for example, fill up those many rooms in the basement or maybe not the basement of the Marriott.
4. That sweater. That I lost one night and found the next day, right where I lost it. And then I lost it again. And didn't find it. (Maybe it's with Nicole's hat? In the AWP museum of lost things? Because it was in DC and apparently, there? There's a museum for everything.)
5. Hightouchmegastore. And that's sad, because she's a good roommate. But she's a little sick and she probably missed The Historian and also her child/ren. But if she wanted to, I would let her live in my cold basement. 
6. Any sense that tomorrow is Monday and therefore a work day, that is, a day on work must be done. Because, basically I sat around all day feeling tired, doing laundry, and letting the interwebs eat what is left of my brain. 
7. Terrance Hayes. He, also, could live in my basement. Or wherever.
8. Sleep. But it will not elude me for long.
9. Tapas. I ate at the most excellent tapas bar in DC. I want the tapas people to be my live-in personal chefs. 
10. Absurdistan. I heard Gary Shteyngart read on Saturday night and he's like, totally fucking hilarious and I thought, oh, Middlebrow read that book and loved it, I'll read it when I get home. But he gave it to his BFF because, apparently, if MB likes a book and you don't jump on it immediately slathering like a hungry daschund, then he sulks and is all like, you don't like what I like, and then he gives the thing he likes away so that, eventually, when you decide you do like it, he can be all like, oh, I said you would like it, but no, you didn't take my word for it, you had to talk to Shteyngart himself and then you're all, oh, he's funny, give me the book. So, in other words, I'm going to have to get my own copy. 

Forgotten dates: AWP Chicago

So I went to Chicago for AWP, and I thought maybe it was April, but it turned out it was February. I got to see these lovely people, the Erik/Erics.
And this awesome painting. (I can't remember who painted it, but I'm sure I wrote it down somewhere)
And I had more than one lovely meal with Lisa B, which is a coup in and of itself. I think this was the delicious vegetarian restaurant that Lisa scouted out with her super sleuth skills.
I'll try to figure out what happened in April. If anything.

What Happens in Chicago...You Know

Well, I am maybe partly recovered from Chicago. Enough to tell you my news, which is that on the first day of the conference of famous writers and writers who want to be famous and graduate students so naive and eager they still believe they one day they will be famous, I saw not a famous writer, no, but a famous actor, yes, lo behold, it was Helo (known to people who know him as Tahmoh Penikett, wha?) . I spent some time on-line trying to find out why he was in Chicago (it turns out, he's Canadian), and all I can figure is that he was doing press or it was for the big premiere of "Dollhouse."
So the rest of the conference was gravy. And what gravy! I had three delicious lunches (citiocafe, Epic Burger, Chutney Joe's) and three delicious dinners (Green Zebra, MK, Tamarind). I drank, well, a lot. I bought so many books, that my suitcase tried to escape from me while I was zipping it (like, hey, get away from me. Carry those books yourself, etc.).
I saw lots and lots and lots of people I love.
Also: one friend, who shall remain nameless, asked me where my husband was, then said, "What happens in Chicago, stays in Chicago." Was he flirting? Possibly. But we had just had a conversation about some delicate matters concerning the groinal region. Here's a hint. If you're trying to pick up a woman, don't tell her that stuff. Tell her, "I'm your husband." That's really (with me) the only way to guarantee success. (And yes, I'm forgetting about the waiter I kissed four years ago. I'm old. I forget stuff.)
I reignited my love for Jack & Ginger (even non-Jack Jack) and boy did I get tired.
Also: I had a conversation with Charles Baxter in the elevator. For what it's worth.
I also saw a guy who didn't give me a job in a small, Midwestern town four years ago. He said he did me a favor. He now lives in Alaska.
Had a free drink, didn't go to a Jeff Tweedy concert. Drank way too much on the first night. Will I never learn? No, apparently not.
Now, do I have tons and tons of work to do. Plus I'm sitting here in my running clothes. Apparently dinner is NOT going to make itself. Damn dinner.

This is What I Have the Energy To Say

I am home. From Chicago. I am tired. I bought lots of books. So much talking. Not enough sleeping.
So. Good. to see many and various friends from graduate school and other places and what not. Talking to editors who were kind enough to publish my stories or essays. Talking to other people who always, always reject me. Seeing new, cool magazines.
Talking to Charles Baxter in the elevator. Hearing Stuart Dybek read. Seeing William Gass.
Had to get up at a crazy time of the morning to catch the plane, but then it is worth it, when one is home.
Son likes fancy Diagram shirt I bought him. Husband likes NBA socks. Son likes miniature handcuffs and miniature squirt gun.
So much laundry.
Being irritated at pretty much everyone after the first two or three panelists. Note to self: more than 3 panelists is too many (except on the panel I was on, on which everyone was brilliant and succinct and interesting).
Ate so many meals. Yum. So much wine and beer. Ginger ale.
So many books.
Good to see everyone. Tired. So Tired.

AWP: the numbers

Literary luminaries spotted: 4 (not at panels or readings: Robert Bly, Charles Baxter, Howard Norman, David Kirby)
Bad readings attended: 2
Martinis consumed: 1 (the most expensive!! martini ever, $15)
Amazing meals consumed: 2 (Union Square Cafe, Balthazar)
Delicious soups consumed: 1 (Curry Cauliflower and Chickpea, very spicy!)
Shopping trips: 2 (both to H & M)
Items purchased: 6 (two shirts, one sweater, jacket, purse, nightgown)
Movies watched: 2 (27 Dresses, Michael Clayton)
Souvenirs purchased: 2 (I heart NY shirt & 3-D drawing pad for Son)
Souvenirs not-purchased: ?? (shot glass, snow globe, MOMA paraphernalia)
Bagels consumed: 2 (one from hotel lobby, not good; one from Dean & Deluca, delicious)
Muffins consumed: 1 (hazelnut cappuccino from D & D)
Beer consumed: 1 (Stella at a pub)
Wine consumed: Without number (including more than 1 $12 "red" from hotel bar), half-bottle at dinner with friends, bottle at dinner with friends. I guess that's it.
Walks through Central Park: 1
Magazines read: 5 (Two People magazines, one Marie Claire, One Allure, one Men's Vogue)
Episodes of "Law and Order" watched on plane home: 2

Back from AWP/NYC

I'm back! For a moment at JFK, it seemed touch and go, but we made it back only about 40 minutes late.
In general, New York was wonderful. I have to say I didn't attend any panels that were great and amazing (because I missed Otterbutt's panel! Damn!), but everything else was wonderful and amazing.
To wit: great food at both Union Square Cafe and Balthazar. Huge, gigantic sandwich at Carnegie Deli. Good beer at a pub. Great soup at Hale and Hearty. Good bagel and muffin at Dean and Deluca. Much shopping at H&M.
Saw "Rock-N-Roll" by Tom Stoppard. Amazing performances by Rufus Sewell and Brian Cox. Fantastic set and music. Smart and touching.
Saw "27 Dresses" at Time's Square AMC. Everything a romantic comedy should be: romantic and funny, and not as bad as the critics said. What do they know? Also, saw a trailer for the new "Sex and the City" movie. There was an audible gasp when the trailer started (among the mostly female audience, I should say).
Saw "Michael Clayton" in my hotel room while eating chocolate. Trust HighTouch, it IS as good as she says. Amazing. I want to see it again. I love George Clooney!!
Went to MOMA on Sunday morning. Mind blowing. Around every corner another masterpiece. And some cool stuff that I'd never heard of, most notably "Stillwater" by Roni Horn (if you click the link it will take you to the Tate, which owns a copy of "Stillwater" but also an article by Horn about it. Cool!). Footnoted photographs. Brilliant.
All in all, a really great trip. I will now set about my plan of convincing MB that we need to take a trip without Son for our 10th anniversary, destination unknown.

Off to AWP/NYC

Bright and early tomorrow I will be whisked away to NYC with Hightouchmegastore. There we will see Otterbutt and other great friends from Grad School. I have plans to meet up with a friend from High School and TommyZ from Grad School #1. I am excited to eat, drink and be merry! It turns out that it is warmer in NYC then it is here. Yeah!
But first I had to empty the camera. I found these gems. Enjoy.







Son likes his water!







The New Year's Day Soup I made on the 3rd or so. It was delicious! A yellow curry noodle soup. But don't eat those red peppers! They are dangerous! At least according to Middlebrow.















A few weeks ago, Son lost his top two front teeth when he collided with Gus the Wonder dog in the living room. There was lots of blood and crying but afterwards he said, "It didn't hurt." They were loose anyway. No sign of the replacements, though.
Also, he loves this black cherry soda. And I do too!

Yes, yes, and Yes!

Apparently I am not the only one who goes full-scale anxiety attack before a big, fun trip. Witness the title of High Touch Mega Store's latest post: to which my title replies, Yes! Last night when I was lamenting the strength of the headache coming on, MB said, "You're just like Hightouch!" And??
So, instead of going to bed and getting a good night's sleep, I cracked open a beer (is that on the vegan diet? Yes, but not on the skinny bitch diet. They say it makes my ass fat. So be it.) and started addressing envelopes. What? you may ask. What does this have to do with preparing and packing for NYC?
Well. It is just one of the many things I feel need to be done before I can depart with a clear conscience. Why? Well, I have been meaning to send out my wonderful stories and essays that have been languishing on my laptop and no where else. Now, when I send out the last two stories, I will have stories and essays languishing at reviews all over the country. What an accomplishment!
Also, I have a few friends whose babies I have not yet sent gifts to. Those may have to wait until after NYC. I also need to do laundry so that I can pack. Also, I need to think and rethink several key outfits. Also, I need to figure out how I'm going to workout in NYC so that I don't gain ten pounds, maybe only five. I also need to choose a book to take and decide which magazines I'm going to buy. This will be done at the airport with Hightouch so that we can double our magazine buying power.
I hope, desperately, that there is a trashy romantic comedy for me to watch on the plane. Oh, I also need to load up my ipod. Right? Yes!!
Also I need to make sure to love up on Son, indulge him ridiculously, feed him sweets so that he remembers me and misses me. Also, if I die in a plane crash, I don't want him to only remember how I scream at him, "Go to sleep!" at approximately 10:14 each evening. Last night he did a little sleepwalking, then fell back to sleep in our bed and it endeared him to me greatly.
I probably have some "grading" to do and other "school" related things to tick off the ole list but honestly, that's not what I worry about. What do I worry about?
It's like that scene from "Sex in the City" when Carrie and Burger are fighting about scrunchies and she asks that women in line in front of her what borough she's from and the woman gets all excited because she's from Texas or something. That's me. I'm the woman from Texas in a scrunchie standing in front of a petite little Carrie who's all fashioned out. Except she'll be saying, "Oh, look. That poor woman is from Utah. I can tell by her tights/dress/hair/lack of fashion."
But, on the other hand, I get to eat like a pig and spot famous writers. I promise to keep a log of famous people sightings (on panels that I plan to attend do not count.) And people from past. I think they'll be there in droves.
They better be! I can't wait to see them!

Why I Loved AWP: a list

1. Intellectual Stimulation: In my day to day life I often forget that I did love graduate school and why. I was surrounded by people who were reading and thinking, and most importantly, talking about what they were reading and thinking about. I was one of those people. I used to read more and think a lot. In my regular life, I am most preoccupied with what is for dinner, how I am going to get to work out, and feeling guilty about not writing. Being at AWP reminded me of the best parts of graduate school. Talking and thinking. And drinking of course.
2. Friends: In my day to day life, I see Middlebrow and Son. If I'm lucky, I see one of my colleagues. Maybe once a month I see someone else or do something social. Maybe. AWP is like my whole life packed into one weekend. I got to hang out with Hightouchmegastore, I got to see lots of friends from graduate school, I got to see a friend from Chicago, I got to see friends from my town that I never see in town. Why do I never see my friends in town? Well. I'm glad I got to see all of these people and more at AWP.
3. Rock Star Writers: I got to see writers who are, in my mind, rock stars. These include: Michael Martone, David Kirby, Walter Moseley, David Shields. (I feel like I should list some women, but I didn't really see any. Who would qualify in this respect? Maybe Brenda Hillman. Anne Carson, definitely.)
4. Being Not-Me: I got to pretend I was someone other than the boring, normal person I am. I wore red pumps (but only in the hotel where I wouldn't have to walk too much). I hugged a person I'd never met before (okay, I might have been a little drunk). I accidently networked. I pretended I was a mover and a shaker. I was, for a few brief days, a mover and a shaker.
5. Free Drinks (self-explanatory)
6. Readings: mostly good.
7. Accidental encounters with beloved people: mostly Peter Covino. But also Terrible Mother. And David Hamilton. And friends from grad school. And Janet Holmes and Alvin Greenburg.
8. Seeing nice publishers who remember my essay (Ninth Letter).
9. Seeing Ralph Berry from FC2, and maybe reminding him of how great I am (accidently).
10. The Book Fair: By the last day, I can't stand it, but in general it's where you run into the people you want to see but can't find and where you find all kinds of things you can't live without and must buy. High Touch was better on this score, buying all kinds of small press cool things. I tried to restrain myself and bought only 4 books. I consider it a small victory.

Home from AWP

I made it home, exhausted, and perhaps a little worse for wear. I was a bit ill when I left for Atlanta, and the fun, excitement, not to mention the rain, probably did me no good. But what the hell! It was fun!
The highlight of the trip, as it always is, was the dinner with Utah friends, some of whom do not live in Utah anymore, and one of whom never did, save the week of Writers at Work. We cabbed from the Hilton to Fuego, where we enjoyed Sangria, $1 tapas and regular sized/priced tapas (~$6). The food was great. Hard to say what was best, but the mussells were good, as was the pork tenderloin with sweet potato mash. And the tuna. And the grilled asparagus. And the wine. Very good. All of it.
Then we decided to walk the two miles back to the hotel, and we got to see a bit of Atlanta. We stopped on the way at a wine bar Felicia had seen earlier that day, Eno. We sat at the bar and shared a bottle of wine. It was a fun outing, including having a kind stranger pull Felicia's pump out of a grate on Peachtree Street. Good stuff.
We returned to the hotel, surfed the receptions, where we had our share of free beverages, then went to the Michael Martone & John Barth reading. I didn't talk to either of them, but it was a good reading.
Other high points: Meeting David Kirby at the bookfair and telling him I used his poem in my theory class. The real high point of that was when he thanked us "for our adjectives" and told Hightouchmegastore as we were parting, "Email me!"
Attending the FC2 reception, which turned into a tribute to Ralph Berry, who is stepping down as publisher. I met Lance Olsen and talked to him for awhile. I also got to chat briefly with Michael Martone, and thanked him for sending me his book, Seeing Eye.
I ran into numerous other people, known and unknown. I saw David Hamilton, who may be the sweetest person ever. I got to see former professors and current friends.
The best panel I attended was on structure and included a handout of "The Things They Carried" by Samantha Chang. Michael Martone did an amazing collage essay on "In the Heart of the Heart of the Country." The whole panel was really brilliant, and will be helpful to me, I think, in my writing and my teaching.
I also got to see Steve Fellner and bought his book, Blind Date with Cavafy . It's so amazing, sweet and funny and sad, and I'm so happy he found a publisher. It gives me a little hope. It's a great book, and he deserves to get more attention for his writing.
Regrets: because of my illness I did not get to run in Atlanta. I also didn't get to use the pool, because it was a little too cold. Also, I only got to see Terrible Mother once. I think my lack of a cell phone is really hurting my social life. It may be time to get a cell phone.
And then Middlebrow got a dog while I was gone. For more info on that, see his blog. For pics of the trip, etc., you can click on my Flickr badge.
I'm glad to be home.

Oscar Redux & AWP Preview

Well, I did pretty well this year. 14 of my picks were correct!
I am most proud of choosing Alan Arkin for Supporting Actor, and "Babel" for original score.
I also like that "Little Miss Sunshine" won for best original screenplay. His was probably my favorite acceptance speech. I liked that when he was kid he had actually taken a 600 mile road trip with his family in a VW van with a broken clutch. 600 miles?!? No big surprises other than Arkin. I guess Melissa Ethridge was a surprise, but I can't say I had strong feelings about that category.

In other news, Hightouchmegastore and I depart on Wednesday for parts Southern (and warm, I'm hoping for warm!). In Atlanta we will hob-nob, no doubt, with great writers and those who possess great wit and charm. I'm speaking, of course, of none other than Otterbutt and Terrible Mother. We may see some other people too, who knows, but those are the important ones. Because of my stupid diet (do I seem testy?), I won't get to drink, but I look forward to enjoying their company while eating copious amounts of allowed food (which are those?) and pointing out famous writers.
No one is reading this year that I would want to stalk, but maybe I'll stand in line to give John Barth some kind of testimonial about how "Lost in the Funhouse" changed my life. It did! I swear!

I hope we get to see a movie on the plane. Yeah! Movie!
See you on the flip side. And by flip side I mean later.