Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Canticles and Omens

Perhaps I invest the days leading up to and the day of my birthday with too much importance. I believe, superstitiously, that what I do in these days sets the tone for the coming year and in some ways determines how the year will go. Last year on my birthday I went to IKEA and then drank too much. I won't be letting that happen again, rest assured.
This year I plan on starting the day early with a swim workout, taking Son to school, and doing some shopping at an event that benefits his school. Then I will go out to lunch and see a movie. In the evening, I plan on having some wine, a nice dinner with the family, perhaps a slice of cake, and then going downtown to see the lights and drink fancy hot drinks. A jam packed day, it sounds like!
But, I'm left with this question, on this, the most auspicious of birthdays, what are my wishes?
  • I want to finish the novel (please, god of unwritten novels, please just let me finish! it can even suck!)
  • I want to get some poems together and write some more
  • I want to finish some stories
  • I want to spend more quality time with Son
  • I want to read some really excellent books
  • I want to eat a lot of really good food, but in a moderate way
  • I want to exercise a lot, and run another race this year
  • I want to spend time with my friends
  • I want to learn more about myself
  • I want to take my yoga practice to the HNL
  • I want to just sit with husband, drinking a bottle of wine and watching the sunset, anywhere
  • I want to go to London and Paris (let's keep our fingers crossed)
  • I want to go to the coast
  • I want to take more photographs (with my SRL)
  • I want to speak more Spanish
  • I want to be better at tennis
  • I want to mountain bike
  • I want to ski
  • I want to keep swimming
  • I want to figure out our housing situation (either move or stop thinking about it. It's driving me crazy!)
  • I want to live simply to simply live

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Some Levity in These Hard Times

Through a new bloggy friend, I found the most genius invention ever: The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator.
You absolutely must do this.
My name is Geese Whalebone, son is Duct Idaho, and MB is Rifle Panzer, which is my favorite. I think I'm going to call him that. All the time.
Gus is Rust Mustang. This is the hardest I've laughed since Palin was nominated. Maybe there is hope for laughter in our future.
Another reason for hope: A Call to Arms by Anne Lamott. Man is she amazing. I'd be a Christian if I could be like her. But it's not possible. I'm not that funny nor that full of forgiveness. I'm too cynical, and I can't give up wine (not that Christian's have to give up wine, but she's an ex-addict, so my guess is she doesn't drink...)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

It's Hard Out Here For A Mom (For A Mom)

Okay. This is not a pity party.
But.
I had a hard day. Two meetings. Two!! I recognize that some people spend their days in meetings but I didn't sign up for that life and you damn well know that I don't have that salary.
But.
I love my kid. I do. You know I do. But the meeting I had to sit through because I care about the quality of education he receives and puts his little heart into....so. frustrating.
I almost, almost, said just screw it. I'll put him in a regular public school where I don't have to deal with this "whole child" speak. I mean, I want him to get the best education. But I almost feel as if I am punished for caring so much. I know I am. I mean, it's not cool to care, right?
I also feel bad for wanting so much for so little. I know the teachers don't get paid enough. I know it! I'm willing to pay more. But unfortunately my willingness to pay more gets divided by all the people who (in this state) procreate beyond their means and then want us (those of us who only have one child) to pay more for the same education. Okay. I'm willing to accept that. But. But!!
I'm willing to work for what I want. Put in the hours. Do the overtime.
But. But!!
I have different goals. The teachers have some goals and the parents have others. And never the twain shall meet. (that's a bad, no terrible literary reference. I'm embarrassed to admit.)
What is good for this?
Well. To start: red curry and masaman curry. And beer. And then a bottle of wine.
And then American Idol. And then some chocolate.
Then "Lipstick Jungle."
What is most redeeming for me about this trashy, 40-something drama? I can be candid and admit that I love Nico's affair with a young man and the way he wants her. Also, hello!, Brooke Shields has arms like I don't know and I love her!!
Enough said. Over and out.
*I had to edit out the F word. I re-read it this morning. Must remember: don't blog at night while upset after drinking too much wine!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Bulletin from Conferences with Creative Nonfiction Students

I felt a little bad because I'm not conferencing with my composition students this week like Middlebrow and Assertively Unhip. But then I remembered, I am conferencing with my students from Creative Nonfiction.
I had a day of conferences last week, and they were okay. My least favorite was with the student who needs the most help. He turned in a draft that he had clearly written just before emailing it to me. "What's the heart of this essay?" I asked. He looked at me blankly. I'd forgotten about this kind of student. He doesn't have an idea, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't even know how to ask me a question so I can help him. "Okay," I said and sent him on his way. I'm accustomed to this student in beginning writing, but in an elective? I'm not sure why he's in this class. He is an okay writer, and I think he might even be creative, if he just wrote some stuff and loosened up.
In contrast with this conference were the majority of the conferences I had today. First, a student who wants to be an English major. I gave her a handbook. She's great at description and terrible with grammar.
Later a guy who's been quiet most of the semester. He's a good writer, but he clearly hadn't found his subject, until now. He had told me he was going to write about random conversations on public transportation. Okay, fine. But he sent me an essay about how his family moved to the woods, essentially, and how his mom came out of her depression for awhile. Because he wrote about it before I know that his mom eventually committed suicide. What was interesting was that in this essay he shifted from the third person (referring to himself by name and to his parents by their names) to the first person. He clearly was dealing with some tough emotional territory. In the final section, he began posing some questions that he hadn't quite addressed in the rest of the essay. I pointed to this section in our conference and said, "This is the section that can change this from a good essay into a great essay. But you have to decide for yourself, are you doing this essay just for this class, or are you a writer?" Like a good lawyer, I didn't ask a question I didn't know the answer to. Obviously he wouldn't have started this essay if he wasn't a writer. It's that kind of essay. It's messy, it's not done, but it's what he really needs to write about. I hate it when creative writing classes become therapy, but I see some real potential in him as a writer, and in this essay in particular. He said he saw this project extending beyond the end of the class. What greater compliment is there for a teacher than for a student to finally confront the subject matter he most needs to write about and to pursue a project beyond the end of a class? It's those quiet ones. You never can tell.
There was also another student who told me that she wants to turn her essay into a book. She's writing about her father and Viet Nam. He wrote a remembrance book that she is going to include in her essay. She had some great lines that began, "The story I want to tell is..." I referred her to "How to Tell A True War Story."
A few of these students told me that they are signing up for my Fiction class in the Spring. One, a great writer and a student from last semester, is working out a special deal with me, as he can't fit it in his schedule because he finally got into the nursing program.
Just when I had almost given up: hope.

Monday, April 23, 2007

We're Almost There....Where?

We can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Is it an on-coming train? The happy light of the ever after?
It might, possibly, be the sun. Or maybe a funnel cloud of love and illumination. Or maybe it might just be the sneaking suspicion that all of humanity is not devoid of intelligent thought and compound-complex sentence structures. Maybe it's something like optimism.
Maybe it's an hallucinatory image of ourselves sitting in the cozy breakfast nook writing something that came out of our very own heads. Something we made up. Something strange and familiar. Something that makes us smile with its unpredictability. Something that scares us with its fierce insistence to be written.
Sigh.
Maybe it's just an idea. That would be novel.