Sunday, February 12, 2006

R U 2 Cool?

Recent inquiries from certain quarters (who shall remain nameless) have converged with chronological events (the imminent approach of my 20th high school reunion) to make me pause and consider my status in high school. Was I cool then? Am I cool now?
I think the answer to both questions has to be No.
As proof, I offer the following anecdotes.
  1. In high school, I was on the debate team. I debated. With my sister.
  2. I had a certain army green jumpsuit that I wore with a scarf that was white with black polka dots in my hair. I used a curling iron to make my hair look like Madonna's.
  3. I had a red shirt with big black polka dots and puffy shoulders/sleeves that I wore with black knickers.
  4. I never had a boyfriend until my senior year (was it because of the knickers?).
  5. If I went to a dance, it was with my gay male friend. Or a friend who was a guy. Or I went with my female friends who also didn't have dates and we wore trench coats and we "crashed" the dance.
  6. The height of fun on Friday night was to go to JB's and eat french fries. Sometimes we got gravy with them.
  7. At one point, I had an asymmetrical hair cut and I wore eye shadow that went off my eyelids and down onto my face and ended in a colored star. A colored star.
  8. I had some earrings (my favorite) that were plastic square comic frames.
  9. I was threatened in the bathroom by a girl who scowled at me and said, "Are you from California?" (this was not a complement).
  10. I was in the National Honor Society.
  11. I was editor of my high school newspaper (The Rampage).
  12. Just today, a boy at Wild Oats called me "Ma'am."
  13. I have only purchased two new CDs in the past year.
  14. My idea of a fun Friday night is to put on my pajamas.
  15. I don't recognize the name of most popular music groups.
  16. I screamed at my son because he didn't like the letters I made for his birthday poster. (I ask you, is this cool?)
  17. If something's popular, I automatically dislike it on principle.
  18. My sophomore year of high school, a guy who liked me made out with my best friend from junior high after I left a party because I had to go home and type up my speech for the Debate Tournament the next day.
  19. My revenge? I left a McDonald's apple pie in her mailbox.
  20. The one time I did go to a dance with a boy who liked me, I asked him to take me home early. He told someone that the best thing about the date was that I had ordered the cheapest thing on the menu.
  21. I was once stuck over night in a pickup with a guy who liked me because he wanted to take me 4-wheeling. Once an hour we started the truck and ran the heater. Every hour, the radio played "Think of Laura" by Christopher Cross. I hate that song.
  22. I voted, along with the rest of the class, to have "Forever Young" by Alphaville play as we walked out of the gym after graduating.

I ask you, am I not the un-coolest of the un-cool?

9 comments:

susansinclair said...

As an example of my less-coolness, I offer the title of my blog. Really. During my senior year, a few people actually thought I was cool. They were freshman drama geeks.

Lisa B. said...

Cool is stupid. You're better than cool. You're original. (_are_ you from California?)

I particularly like the apple pie in the mailbox. It's impenetrable. It's dada. It's like that movie Cache, except it's utterly American and completely mysterious. That girl is probably still freaking out about it.

Sleepy E said...

Now, of course, your uncool behavior is very cool (taking your gay male friend to a dance, for example). It might still be uncool at Pocatello HS, but it's cool for us. But this is not to say that you are cool now, either. In 20 years you'll look back on these years and think, hey I actually was cool even though it seemed I wasn't...which wouldn't make you cool when you were 55...that is your destiny...always ahead of the cool curve.

Ron said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Counterintuitive said...

Apple pie in mailbox--classic and certainly uncool, but voting for Forever Young was, I'm afraid, cool. That stupid song, no matter how hard I try, floors me with nostalgia. Did you notice they played FY at the dance in Napolean Dynamite? Thank God I will never attend a HS school dance again.

Sorry to go on but your post has caused much thought and nostalgia. So, are you going to go to your 20th reunion? I remember when Mega blogged about HS reunions and we all chimed in. My 20th is next year and I don't think I'm going; I'm tempted but, in part, because of the cool business I think I will sit it out.

Dr. Write said...

Sadly, yes, I probably will attend. Mostly because I still have a lot of friends from HS, a few of whom still live in Poky. I went to my ten-year and it was actually fun. The part at the bar was fun, anyway. I'm totally fascinated by what people are doing and how they look. My favorite part, of course, is to see how the "cool"/popular crowd has aged. Last time they looked exactly the same, meaning, of course, that they had not evolved past high school while my geeky friends and I had finally become the interesting, fascinating folks we were meant to become.
It was great.
And yeah, FY is cool. I heard it on the radio yesterday and it took me back.

lis said...

Please, please wear the eye shadow/ star to the Idol screening on Thursday.

susansinclair said...

I really enjoyed my high school reunions, 10 & 20. For one thing, it's wonderful to celebrate having been a geek and now being relatively successful. And also, it's great to no longer care what these folks think about us! But really, I'll keep going because every ten years another person apologizes to me for being a butthead in our youth. :)

val said...

The whole ma'am thing drives me wild! What was is about Forever Young... I mean, who would really want to be Forever Young. The dances, the shared dinners at Olive Garden all for a quickie in a yugo. I mean really. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who was popular in high school.