A few weeks ago, in a glucose slump, I took Son to Sonic Burger. It was a place we could agree on. I let him come up into the front seat (the car was parked; it's not like I'm Britney) to eat.
As we were eating, and I was lamenting the general lack of Ketchup (Sonic Burger is decidedly anti-Ketchup), I looked up to see a short African-American man driving a blue VW Bug through the drive-through. My first thought was, "That guy's not old enough to drive!" My second thought was "That's Gary Coleman!" He had pulled his car forward in the drive-through and was having an animated conversation with the teenage boy who had brought him his food. The boy walked away. The young blonde sitting next to Gary rubbed the back of his neck while he gestured wildly and generally gave off an angry vibe. It was busy at Sonic Burger, so Gary was forced to sit in his car with the blonde rubbing his neck, while the two teenage boys who seemed to be running the joint dashed about attending to the other customers. Five or ten minutes later, the teenage boy returned to Gary's window holding what can only be described as an astounding amount of ketchup packets in one hand. He shoved these through Gary's window. Gary gesticulated and shouted. The teenage boy walked away. Gary pulled forward to the garbage can and inserted an unidentifiable object into it. He drove away.
I was about 75% sure it was Gary Coleman until I told Otter Butt this story. She said she recently heard that he had moved to Provo. So now I'm about 95% sure.
Welcome to the Promised Land, Gary!