Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Sick Sickness, The Sick Edition

So, as many of you know from the FB-verse, I have been sick for some, if not all, of 2013. Much of this illness covers that last week or so, and some of it covers whole swathes of January, but never mind. I am not here to praise sickness, but to bury it under a list of things I have done, so that I can feel that, indeed, Sickness, you have not buried me under a mountain of used Kleenex and cough drop wrappers. No, I will rise again!! (sniffle, sniffle, cough!)

  1. Watched "Pitch Perfect"! Finally! Why didn't everyone beat me with their fists and plead with me, nay, beg me to watch this the minute it was released, and then again and again? Because it really was *that good*. And I say this even while wondering (if by wondering you mean beating one's chest and looking skyward) why, oh why, do funny movies have to have disgusting bodily function scenes. Can anyone tell me why?
  2. Tried different medicines. I want to know, for example, if the liquid green Nyquil (which tastes like Jagermeister and burns) is better, in terms of healing function, than the Sinex capsules which are also an eerie nuclear green, but have no taste, but almost get stuck in my throat. Do I know? I do not, really, except that maybe, maybe the capsules give you less of an "I just drank a bunch of Jagermeister" dry mouth effect. Also, there are these daytime Tylenol cold pills which are minty (why? I'm just going to swallow them. I don't need minty in my esophagus) and they seem to work, but they also make me feel like someone just poured plastic into my sinuses. That is, they work, but do they work by just stopping all sinus functions which will just come back fourfold when they wear off? These are the questions I need answers to.
  3. Drank a Mexican coke. I don't have to explain this one, do I?
  4. Ate some soft chicken tacos. Hightouchmegastore made me.
  5. Drank too much wine. This has nothing to do with anything, per se, but I was starting to feel sick again (a sore throat) and I had already invited people over, and what to do? So I told myself I wouldn't drink too much and then I did, and then what happened? (See #s 3 & 4).
  6. Drank a shit ton of tea. I have to say, that I'm a little sick of tea. Which is why I drank coffee today. Sometimes you has to do that.
  7. Blew my nose like 8.3 million times. Bought more kleenex. Blew my nose. You see where this is going.
  8. Had an idea for, and then wrote an essay. I think under 1,000 words is my sweet spot and by that I mean attention span. Also, the way I write works that way and when I try to make it longer...let's just say Silly Putty.
  9. Did not work on some grant applications. That is for suckers and people whose heads are not stuffed with cotton and Nyquil.
  10. Deleted a shit ton of email. Why, dear readers, do I not just delete it when it arrives so I don't have to go back and delete it later? Why??
  11. Read almost nothing. When sick, even reading seems like too much damn work. I want someone to come and put the words in my brain while I lay here with my eyes closed.
  12. Did no prep work. See, I had this great idea at the beginning of the semester and I made a schedule for the first 5 weeks of the semester, and, you see, the first five weeks are rapidly drawing to a close and, my friends, what will I do??
  13. Spent a shit ton of time on-line. It has not made me smarter, friends, it has not.
  14. Bought my husband a sandwich. He can't say I didn't help.
  15. I may have to go out and get chicken pot pie for dinner. I just might.


Lisa B. said...

I am deeply ambivalent about this post. I am truly saddened by your state of monumental illness. Truly! And yet...the sick has led you to (a) blog and (b) make me laugh, and how can that be bad? Out of suffering, great art, is all I can say. I am sorry you are suffering, but thank you for the art. Great art.

Nik said...

Yay. This too is 1000 words or fewer essay land. I am sorry you are sick but I'm glad you are contemplating pot pie.

radagast said...

For an artsy, English professor-type, you're disturbingly count-y and productive! My list would go something like. 1. Felt sick. 2. Chugged NyQuil/bacon. C. Went to bed.

But whatever works. Feel better!

Ann said...

I'm so on board with #3. Back in the day before you could find it EVERYWHERE, I would drive long miles to find Mexican Coke. Like, to Mexico, even.

Sorry you've been sick. I've had the same kind of year, and it's been baffling. Also annoying.