Sick Sickness, The Sick Edition

So, as many of you know from the FB-verse, I have been sick for some, if not all, of 2013. Much of this illness covers that last week or so, and some of it covers whole swathes of January, but never mind. I am not here to praise sickness, but to bury it under a list of things I have done, so that I can feel that, indeed, Sickness, you have not buried me under a mountain of used Kleenex and cough drop wrappers. No, I will rise again!! (sniffle, sniffle, cough!)

1. Watched "Pitch Perfect"! Finally! Why didn't everyone beat me with their fists and plead with me, nay, beg me to watch this the minute it was released, and then again and again? Because it really was *that good*. And I say this even while wondering (if by wondering you mean beating one's chest and looking skyward) why, oh why, do funny movies have to have disgusting bodily function scenes. Can anyone tell me why?
2. Tried different medicines. I want to know, for example, if the liquid green Nyquil (which tastes like Jagermeister and burns) is better, in terms of healing function, than the Sinex capsules which are also an eerie nuclear green, but have no taste, but almost get stuck in my throat. Do I know? I do not, really, except that maybe, maybe the capsules give you less of an "I just drank a bunch of Jagermeister" dry mouth effect. Also, there are these daytime Tylenol cold pills which are minty (why? I'm just going to swallow them. I don't need minty in my esophagus) and they seem to work, but they also make me feel like someone just poured plastic into my sinuses. That is, they work, but do they work by just stopping all sinus functions which will just come back fourfold when they wear off? These are the questions I need answers to.
3. Drank a Mexican coke. I don't have to explain this one, do I?
4. Ate some soft chicken tacos. Hightouchmegastore made me.
5. Drank too much wine. This has nothing to do with anything, per se, but I was starting to feel sick again (a sore throat) and I had already invited people over, and what to do? So I told myself I wouldn't drink too much and then I did, and then what happened? (See #s 3 & 4).
6. Drank a shit ton of tea. I have to say, that I'm a little sick of tea. Which is why I drank coffee today. Sometimes you has to do that.
7. Blew my nose like 8.3 million times. Bought more kleenex. Blew my nose. You see where this is going.
8. Had an idea for, and then wrote an essay. I think under 1,000 words is my sweet spot and by that I mean attention span. Also, the way I write works that way and when I try to make it longer...let's just say Silly Putty.
9. Did not work on some grant applications. That is for suckers and people whose heads are not stuffed with cotton and Nyquil.
10. Deleted a shit ton of email. Why, dear readers, do I not just delete it when it arrives so I don't have to go back and delete it later? Why??
11. Read almost nothing. When sick, even reading seems like too much damn work. I want someone to come and put the words in my brain while I lay here with my eyes closed.
12. Did no prep work. See, I had this great idea at the beginning of the semester and I made a schedule for the first 5 weeks of the semester, and, you see, the first five weeks are rapidly drawing to a close and, my friends, what will I do??
13. Spent a shit ton of time on-line. It has not made me smarter, friends, it has not.
14. Bought my husband a sandwich. He can't say I didn't help.
15. I may have to go out and get chicken pot pie for dinner. I just might.

More Lessons from my 41st Year

Today, since it is exactly one week until my birthday, I will offer another ten lessons. These, I decided, will be about food, since that is one of my obsessions.

1. The things you love might not be good for you, but you can learn to love the things that ARE good for you (like spinach, kale, chard, peppers, etc.)
2. Always, always, always eat breakfast. Always.
   
3. Protein, protein, protein!
4. Lack of protein makes one a total bitch! And yes, by "one" I mean me.
5. Always, always, always carry snacks. Such as: precooked sausage, apple, almonds. Or: cheese stick, orange, cashews. Or: protein bar.
6. If you have healthy snacks in the house, you are more likely to eat healthy snacks. This also works with children. If you just give them the healthy snack, they will usually eat it.
7. Coffee is not optional.
8. Do not eat to live or live to eat. Somewhere in between is best.
   
9. Savor each bite. If it's not worth savoring, you probably shouldn't eat it.
10. A healthy attitude about food is a gift you give yourself and your children.

My World

Today I did all kinds of pre-Christmas errands, and some things that are not covered by that name.

1. Ate breakfast at Over The Counter. Yum! A Spanish Omelet with home fries and sourdough toast. Delicious.
2. Bought Son some gifts (neither beer nor vodka).
3. Went to Toys R Us. Bad idea! It was the lunch hour and everyone else was there too. At least we weren't buying some $349 mini Ranger Rover (or whatever!) like the guy in front of us. I felt most sorry for the under-trained cashier. It's hard out there. You know.
   
4. Searched the house for my Christmas card list. Did not find it.
5. Wrote out a few Christmas cards.
6. Bought all the stuff to make Chex mix and 7 Layer Bars. Must choose which to make first. (I made the 7 Layer Bars and then the Chex mix, which is still in the oven. Two down!)
   
7. Saw two local figures at neighborhood Smiths (Ed Smart and Dooce. At least I think it was her.)
   
8. Bought fixings for healthy dinner to counteract the sugar and spice of Christmas season. This week we are eating rice and veggies. Really! Oh, and tofu.
9. Burned and ripped some CDs. On our new "simplifying" plan we are trying to rid the upstairs of CDs. I am ripping what we want (and we will store those downstairs) and the rest go to wherever obsolete technology goes to die (that would be in the basement with my cassette tapes!).
   
10. Found green wool blanket that will serve as tree skirt. Present count: Son 9 (not including stocking stuffers or unwrapped booty). Me: 1 stocking stuffer (from my mom!) and Middlebrow 1 (from his family gift exchange person). I can see how this Christmas is shaping up....
11. Weighed myself. (Big mistake!! Do not do this!! Wait until January 1!! or 2!!)

Well. I must finish my Christmas cards, rip more CDs, and make some rice for dinner. Happy shopping.

Travels in Gastro-Intestinal Health

I realize the title to this post does not bode well. Those of you who know me know that I like to complain that my stomach hurts. Well, I finally went to see a Naturopath. I found out many things, including that our state has one of the most rigorous processes for certifying NDs. Also, my insurance covers it. Yeah!
So. I went in armed with my paper work and my suspicions about what I am allergic to, maybe. My guesses: dairy, wheat, soy. So, my plan is to do an elimination diet and then reintroduce foods, one every two days.
What, you might ask, does one possibly eat when one is not eating anything? It turns out mostly fruits and vegetable (but not corn, and no citrus). Also, I need to eliminate rice because I eat so much of it. But, surprisingly, lamb and pears are two of the most hypoallergenic foods. So I can eat lamb and pears! I can also eat chicken and fish. And potatoes. Yeah potatoes!! I'm also eliminating nuts and seeds. Then after you start to feel better (how long is that?), you reintroduce the food. You have to eat a lot of the food for one day. The part that describes drinking a big glass of milk makes me want to throw up. So I think I'll skip that one, but I may test cottage cheese, etc.
Meanwhile, I'm taking lots of supplements, many of which are supposed to help my stomach and some of which are just for general health. And one to help me sleep. I'll let you know how that goes.
All this to say that if I seem irritable and fatigued, you'll know why. Come Monday, I'll be subsisting on vegetables and fowl. But I might be sleeping more, so it could even out.
And yes, this means no wine. No wine? Somehow I'll muddle through.