Sunday, July 09, 2006

Please Clean Out Your Basement

Middlebrow and I, in a fit of new ladder bookcase induced cleaning, pulled all the shit out of the storage closet in our basement. What did we find there?
  1. Vinyl, real vinyl, including Captain and Tennille (look for a favorite from this, "Love Will Keep Us Together" on karaoke night!) (I did keep the "Grease" Soundtrack though)
  2. A crib we haven't used in how many years?
  3. Cloth diapers (we never used!!) and diaper covers we haven't used since, well, since you know when
  4. Baby shirts and blankets I was saving why?
  5. Baby bath toys that needed to be incinerated
  6. Swinging ranch-style doors (from previous owner!)
  7. Large piece of block print fabric of unknown origin and purpose
  8. Maternity clothing (why was I saving this?)
  9. Extra-large t-shirts that were not maternity, but that I wore before I was pregnant and during, but that now look strangely like cotton mumus
  10. Nursing bras and breast pads

I only mention this because what I am issuing here is a plea to clean out your own basements. I know you have stuff down there that you don't need and haven't seen since Clinton was in office. Someone needs your old stuff more than you do. Trust me. I was brought to tears by the list of Needed Items. I feel like a criminal for keeping all that shit in my basement while other people, people without homes, go without basics like clothing.

I'll get off my soap box, but I now feel better about my own (very recent) release of the hoarding instinct. Please join me in purging your house of stuff. Your conscience and your housemates will thank you.


Jim McDowell said...

Dr. Write,

Your blog has inspired me to write something. As a younger man I enjoyed writing but I honestly can't remember the last time I wrote anything more substantial than an email. That pretty much sums up my "electronic existence". Best wishes to you and your family.

An accidental blogger

lis said...

I just want to say that I need that Captain & Tennille album.

theorris said...

what and get rid of all my action figures? Where will my movie ideas come from then?

Actually I did just give a butt-load of old clothes away to Big Brothers. My past sartorial disasters are now cleared from my closet memory: only my present ones remain.