Friday, June 27, 2008

Clarity Lite

All of you know that I recently ran a big crazy race (because I won't stop talking about it). I think I hurt my waist (if one can hurt one's waist, then I did), but that's not what I want to write about. No, I want to write about the general sense of happiness and well-being that has come over me since the race. Actually, I think it started with the third leg of the race. I went into it with the attitude of well, this is the last one, how bad can it be? because soon it will be over. But I have to say that the third leg was my favorite.
First, because it was the third leg, I didn't feel like I had to run fast. I just settled into a rhythm and stuck with it. It helped that my rhythm also allowed me to pass a few people.
Second, the leg started at Rockport State Park in the dark. But not in the real middle-of-the-night dark. It was more the sun's-about-to-come-up dark. So I ran into the sunrise, farm land on each side. Horses, grass, barns. Wow. It was beautiful. And I just felt happy to be running in the morning in such a beautiful place. If not for the race, would I ever have run exactly there at that time? No.
Third, and maybe this is the endorphins talking, but since I got back (well, to be honest I'd have to say that it's really since I woke up Sunday morning after a good night's sleep) I've felt a little more calm about most things. I don't worry so much about not writing, I don't worry so much about the future or the past.
There's nothing like a big crazy race to help you live (or run) in the present moment. It's still difficult, of course, but I have to say I haven't been plagued by the self-doubt that is usually my constant companion. I haven't worried that I'm a total fraud (until I typed it just now. Now I'm worried about it).
In any case, my general level of anxiety about most things (including exercise) has subsided. I'm loving riding my bike around and swimming.
Peace out!

9 comments:

Nik said...

ahhhhh. So lovely. And just in time for summer. This post is like those old Nestea ads when you just let go and fall backwards into the pool...

Nik said...

The Nestea plunge. That's the slogan. Thanks for the idea to try to take that into part 2 of summer.

ErinAlice said...

Nice. I think I have that but if I ever need to be reminded I hope it won't take running to get it. Cause if so, I'm screwed.....nice to be at peace. Peace is good. Peace goes well with wine, or beer. Enjoy your clarity.

Condiment said...

What is all of this well-being all of a sudden? I totally can't relate to this... :)

Lisa B. said...

If you're saying I need to run roughly 19 miles in the light and in the dark in order to stop freaking out, well, I don't think I can do that. I shall not despair, however. I just need to figure out what the appropriate substitute might be. Lovely post. And I forgot to say, apropos of your reading tonight, that I loved, particularly, the third part of your triptych. Excellent.

Limon de Campo said...

It's so nice to read about your calmness and your happiness. I have to take prescription pharmaceuticals to reach that place with any regularity!!

Renaissance Girl said...

i am so happy for your experience w/ the BCR. i envy it--not least because you had the time to do it. nice post!

eliasinlondon said...

All that nature and exercise sounds wonderful.Hold on to that feeling the best you can - those times seem too few and far between.
Congrats on your May on London next year - let us know if you need a place to stay.

Valerie said...

I changed my blog to littlehandsbigworld.blogspot

oh, and good job!