Saturday, February 21, 2009

Admissions of a Guilty Liberal

Today when I was walking down the street in our neighborhood, I was afraid one of the parents from my son's liberal, eco-friendly, did I say liberal?, school would be driving their Subaru Outback down 9th East and see me (yes, me) carrying my 32 oz. Coke/Caffeine Free Diet Coke trademarked mix and be like, "Is that Dr. Write? I didn't know she drank (gasp) soda!"
And so began my internal self-chastisement/reveling in the guilty pleasures. The things that I don't want other earth conscious, green-lovin', liberal people to know that I do, and not only that, I like doing it.
  1. Shopping for shoes. (I know, it's practically required for women to like shoes, but I don't always buy sensible Keens.)
  2. Capitalism. (I know! It's bad. But it's given us Target. And DSW. And, also, Giant Extra-Large Popcorn and the 124 oz. soda. How can that be bad?)
  3. Sugar (As in, that thick pasty frosting that's made from different kinds of sugar and put on sugar cookies. I love that! Also chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon rolls.)
  4. Potato Chips (and I don't mean the fancy health food ones, though I do like those too. I mean the rippled kind. With white dip.)
  5. Staying inside on sunny days (it's my inner geek. Usually I'm reading)
  6. Getting my eyebrows waxed (and this from a girl who used to not shave her legs! Oh how the mighty have fallen!)
  7. Bad, stupid, bad romantic comedies (no plot is too predictable! No cliche too cliched! No meet cute too cute!)
  8. Mystery fiction (in which bad things happen and criminals are caught. I think everyone knows this about me, however)
  9. Bad pop music (with rhymes like love and dove; think Madonna circa 1985; but I still like it!)
  10. Trashy TV (again, I think everyone knows this, but I just watched "Dollhouse" and I liked it!)
I know...these don't seem too bad. But just picture me in Birkenstocks, a hippie skirt with long hair. Then you'll see.


Lisa B. said...

I have always been, and remain, proud to know you. Never prouder than now, by the way. Fizz on, soda drinker! Fizz on!

theorris said...

Bah that whole crowd, Good Dr.

ijoel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Renaissance Girl said...

oh, potato chips. and french fries. how you blow my crunchy cover.

Limon de Campo said...

I love all those things too. And I don't feel guilty! That makes me the worse liberal. I'm like one Diet Coke and one trip to DSW away from voting for McCain. (I am kidding, by the way).

Lisa said...

We are more alike than I realize sometimes! It's nice to believe that you are so whatever, but then you realize that you have your less-than-whatever traits too, which is ok! They add to your you-ness! The shoes...that's all I'll say!

ErinAlice said...

Oh yes, we are related. The shoes! The food! The movies! All of it. Oh and did I see you saw He's Just Not That Into You?? I must get your review!! Go eat those chips. I love chips!! When you come here we can go to DSW and Target together.

Nik said...

Just so people aren't missing your true point, you should take up smoking pot and wearing more hemp. And eating hemp burgers. You can even drink hemp. They make hemp Coke now so you don't have to give up your allegiances for, you know, your allegiances.

Aligates said...

Well, you know, fine American indoor plumbing, coupled with wasteful, sanitary, ever so convenient paper products from America's trees made a patriot out of me! (Green Bay WI is the toilet tissue capitol of the world, incidentally.)

Michelle Marie said...

Just so you know... I JUST made myself stovetop smores... Yes, Graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows roasted over my flat cooktop...

I forgive you for liking pop.. If you will forgive me for making cheesy late night videos. <3 See you friday!