Admissions of a Guilty Liberal

Today when I was walking down the street in our neighborhood, I was afraid one of the parents from my son's liberal, eco-friendly, did I say liberal?, school would be driving their Subaru Outback down 9th East and see me (yes, me) carrying my 32 oz. Coke/Caffeine Free Diet Coke trademarked mix and be like, "Is that Dr. Write? I didn't know she drank (gasp) soda!"
And so began my internal self-chastisement/reveling in the guilty pleasures. The things that I don't want other earth conscious, green-lovin', liberal people to know that I do, and not only that, I like doing it.

1. Shopping for shoes. (I know, it's practically required for women to like shoes, but I don't always buy sensible Keens.)
2. Capitalism. (I know! It's bad. But it's given us Target. And DSW. And, also, Giant Extra-Large Popcorn and the 124 oz. soda. How can that be bad?)
3. Sugar (As in, that thick pasty frosting that's made from different kinds of sugar and put on sugar cookies. I love that! Also chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon rolls.)
4. Potato Chips (and I don't mean the fancy health food ones, though I do like those too. I mean the rippled kind. With white dip.)
5. Staying inside on sunny days (it's my inner geek. Usually I'm reading)
6. Getting my eyebrows waxed (and this from a girl who used to not shave her legs! Oh how the mighty have fallen!)
7. Bad, stupid, bad romantic comedies (no plot is too predictable! No cliche too cliched! No meet cute too cute!)
8. Mystery fiction (in which bad things happen and criminals are caught. I think everyone knows this about me, however)
9. Bad pop music (with rhymes like love and dove; think Madonna circa 1985; but I still like it!)
10. Trashy TV (again, I think everyone knows this, but I just watched "Dollhouse" and I liked it!)

I know...these don't seem too bad. But just picture me in Birkenstocks, a hippie skirt with long hair. Then you'll see.

What Happens in Chicago...You Know

Well, I am maybe partly recovered from Chicago. Enough to tell you my news, which is that on the first day of the conference of famous writers and writers who want to be famous and graduate students so naive and eager they still believe they one day they will be famous, I saw not a famous writer, no, but a famous actor, yes, lo behold, it was Helo (known to people who know him as Tahmoh Penikett, wha?) . I spent some time on-line trying to find out why he was in Chicago (it turns out, he's Canadian), and all I can figure is that he was doing press or it was for the big premiere of "Dollhouse."
So the rest of the conference was gravy. And what gravy! I had three delicious lunches (citiocafe, Epic Burger, Chutney Joe's) and three delicious dinners (Green Zebra, MK, Tamarind). I drank, well, a lot. I bought so many books, that my suitcase tried to escape from me while I was zipping it (like, hey, get away from me. Carry those books yourself, etc.).
I saw lots and lots and lots of people I love.
Also: one friend, who shall remain nameless, asked me where my husband was, then said, "What happens in Chicago, stays in Chicago." Was he flirting? Possibly. But we had just had a conversation about some delicate matters concerning the groinal region. Here's a hint. If you're trying to pick up a woman, don't tell her that stuff. Tell her, "I'm your husband." That's really (with me) the only way to guarantee success. (And yes, I'm forgetting about the waiter I kissed four years ago. I'm old. I forget stuff.)
I reignited my love for Jack & Ginger (even non-Jack Jack) and boy did I get tired.
Also: I had a conversation with Charles Baxter in the elevator. For what it's worth.
I also saw a guy who didn't give me a job in a small, Midwestern town four years ago. He said he did me a favor. He now lives in Alaska.
Had a free drink, didn't go to a Jeff Tweedy concert. Drank way too much on the first night. Will I never learn? No, apparently not.
Now, do I have tons and tons of work to do. Plus I'm sitting here in my running clothes. Apparently dinner is NOT going to make itself. Damn dinner.

HB, R!

Believe it or not, today Son is 8. Eight! I swear I just gave birth to that boy, carried his 10 pound body around inside my body, felt him turn and twist my guts.
He still twists my guts, but in different ways. He's adorable and smart. He's argumentative and a pain in the ass (where does he get that from?). He reads like crazy now (again, wherefore?), and he's getting so tall, he reaches my shoulder. I can still pick him up, but barely.
I love that he loves to watch "American Idol" with me, and we even voted last night. Why not? He loves The Beatles and REM, he got his first stitches last year (something tells me, not his last), he loves The Hardy Boys and Captain Underpants, he's an artist and a writer and a thinker.
I'm worried about going to London for 3 weeks, leaving him and Middlebrow. Oh, I know they'll be fine, but what about me? When I see a painting in the Tate, I'll think, "Son would love this." I hope I get to go back with both of them someday.
For now, I'll cherish the tiny moments, like last night, watching AI, when he pulled my arm around him, or when we speed-decorated 24 cookies for his birthday during the commercial breaks.
Happy Birthday, Son! Now please stop growing up. I can't take it.

This is What I Have the Energy To Say

I am home. From Chicago. I am tired. I bought lots of books. So much talking. Not enough sleeping.
So. Good. to see many and various friends from graduate school and other places and what not. Talking to editors who were kind enough to publish my stories or essays. Talking to other people who always, always reject me. Seeing new, cool magazines.
Talking to Charles Baxter in the elevator. Hearing Stuart Dybek read. Seeing William Gass.
Had to get up at a crazy time of the morning to catch the plane, but then it is worth it, when one is home.
Son likes fancy Diagram shirt I bought him. Husband likes NBA socks. Son likes miniature handcuffs and miniature squirt gun.
So much laundry.
Being irritated at pretty much everyone after the first two or three panelists. Note to self: more than 3 panelists is too many (except on the panel I was on, on which everyone was brilliant and succinct and interesting).
Ate so many meals. Yum. So much wine and beer. Ginger ale.
So many books.
Good to see everyone. Tired. So Tired.

Bye-Bye!

I have not been blogging because my life is crazy. But I got a haircut and I am off to Chicago to eat a lot and to observe writers from afar and anear. I also plan on having a few drinks and maybe relaxing. I SO look forward to seeing my friends. You know who you are. And going to a few readings, a few panels, and wandering in the book fair.
Ciao!

In these dark times....

This makes me feel better.

Return to Life

I have been busy:

1. Not sleeping
2. Too much emailing
3. Swimming
4. Eating
5. Drinking
6. Worrying
7. Job hunting? Maybe?
8. Obsessing
9. TV Watching
10. Hulu Watching (my brain is more gelatinous)
11. Not doing various of my teaching duties

But now I'm here. I'm here for you. Really I am. I must go.

What's a Good Metaphor for this?

In class this week, one of my students said, "Being a student here feels like being a passenger in a taxi with a drunk driver." He was not referring to my class, but to the fact that he had signed up for classes in his major, arrived at said classes on the first day only to be told that the program no longer existed. This is a problem for many reasons: first, the president of our college said that "no one has lost their jobs." I had thought this was a semantic truth (at least) because the people who have, in fact, lost their jobs, would not do so until the end of the fiscal year. Not true. Some people have already lost their jobs. Second, as my student pointed out, couldn't they have given the students some warning? Like, at least called them over the break? How many of them can there be if this program is considered "expendable"? Third, he went to talk to his adviser about what he could do so that he wouldn't lose his financial aid, and she had no idea that the program had been eliminated.
Oh. Problematic on so many levels.
But after speaking to this student, who said during our class introductions that "if I wasn't in college I'd be in jail or dead," I thought, no, the passenger in the drunk taxi isn't quite right...because the student isn't just paying, he's participating. He wants to participate. He showed up on the first day! He's already figured out a school to transfer to. He's alert.
The only analogy I could think of was being on the back of a bicycle built for two, when the person in front is steering, not telling you where you're going. Then, the person in front suddenly stops, gets off, and says "I'm done. I will go no further." Sure, chances are you could maybe find a random stranger to help you out, maybe pedal home with you, but haven't they just left you in a shitty situation? What are you supposed to do with this bicycle built for two when you're only one person? Only one person who, maybe, only recently started bicycling in the first place.
I know. You can find someone to teach you how to ride this tandem bicycle alone. Only that "teacher" will be far away, and you'll need a computer and/or cell phone, and you'll actually have to do all your riding by yourself with no direct feedback from this "solo tandem bicycling" expert. Oh, you don't have a computer or a cell phone? You want an actual teacher? Sorry. We can no longer help you.

Another Thursday, Another TV

So, here's what happens on Thursday:

1. I teach. But it's only one class. Question: How to get the students to f*%&ing talk about poetry?? huh??
2. I "have office hours" and by this I mean, sit in writing center and talk to students or former students. Whatever.
3. Go home. Today, I did this in a round about way that involved going to the wine store, doing the car swap with MB, having lunch at a Thai place (bringing home take out for dinner!), and catching a bus home.
4. Maybe co-op at Son's school or maybe go home to do whatever. Today was a whatever day that included finishing "The Big Clock," doing stuff on-line, napping, etc.
5. Eat take-out.
6. Try to get Son to bed in a way that doesn't interfere with "The Office" and "30 Rock." Don't I have my priorities straight? TV first!!
7. Watch "The Office" and "30 Rock."
8. Flip between "ER" and "Private Practice" getting attached to neither and secretly being mildly interested in both.
9. Watch the last episode of "Lipstick Jungle" on-line. Mourn for the loss of trashy TV until (maybe?) more episodes appear next year.
10. Check email, do Facebook, etc etc, finally sleep.
    

Quick Sundance Update

On Monday, we saw "Cold Souls," and our friend Don also happened to have a ticket, so he stood in line and saved us seats. I liked it a lot and gave it four stars, but I think Middlebrow gave it three. It could have used some editing in a few places, but parts were quite lyrical and beautiful. And it was funny and tragic. I like Paul Giamatti, but I LOVE David Strathairn. The story of this film was different from your average movie, and I think the filmmaker, Sophie Barthes, did a good job of mixing the strange with the every day.
On Tuesday we saw "500 Days of Summer" with Hightouch and The Historian. I loved this film, first because it stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. What's not to love? The movie started with an author's disclaimer, and Middlebrow claimed that from that he knew it was going to be good. It was a failed romance told from the perspective of the male, which was refreshing. My only complaint was that I don't believe anyone would ever break up with JGL. It's just not believable. He's adorable! I loved the dance number and the transtitions between scenes. This movie was part of the Premieres, not in competition, which means it already has distribution, etc. I think it could be quite successful, because it is funny and a little heartbreaking. Also, did I mention Josephy Gordon-Levitt? And his adorableness? Definitely see this movie when it comes to a theater near you. I'm sorry, but I don't know when that will be.

Today

1. Set my alarm for 5:45 so I could run with my friend Peta.
2. Got up at 5 when Son woke up to puke.
3. Closed my eyes at 5:40 for about 10 minutes.
4. Ran for 35 minutes.
5. Went to school.
6. Taught a poetry class (by "taught" I mean: read some poems aloud, talked about them, tried to get students to see poems as "made objects," enthused about language, tried to get them to talk, posed many dualities, wished them well)
7. Sped to Son's school to eat healthy, salad lunch with him
8. Got coffee at local shop (and biscotti!)
9. Helped kids with math (this is WAY more difficult than it sounds and includes one nearly crying boy, one boy with incessant drawing disorder, manic math girls, one boy who is irritating simply because, and others)
10. Helped kids write adjectives and nouns on papers, along with colorful pictures (this might not sound difficult, but they don't really get "adjectives": my favorite? Pimply Pickles...good job G.S.)
11. Did the carpool thing successfully, despite large truck driving apple eating mother parked in cross walk (insert swearing rant here)
12. Purchased dinner at Whole Paycheck (hello sushi!)
13. Purchased necessary beverage at UDABC (can you say Big House Red?)
14. Scrubbed the bathroom sink (why am I always the first one to be so grossed out I can't take it any more?? Why???)
    
15. Made guacamole
16. Ate guacamole
17. Read this charming interview
    
18. Drank wine with friend who has not lost her job despite today's layoffs at her place of employment (I'll drink to that!)
19. Got Son to eat, shower, and pack his bag
20. Ate dinner
21. Watched some of "The Office" (Oh Dwight!)
22. Put son to bed
    
23. Ate m-n-m's, drank wine and watched "30 Rock" (Tina Fey, why do you remind me of Lis? Is it because you make funny? Or is it the cardigan?)
24. Flipped through shows and decided, "Yes, they really are ALL that stupid." But isn't Rufus Sewell the bomb? (do they still say that? "the bomb"?)
25. Filled in six crossword answers
    
26. Listened to iPod while Facebooking
    
27. Decided the iPod is the best invention EVER and that if Steve Jobs really is that sick, I could take over for him
28. I can't name all the songs I heard, but here's who I love in no order: David Byrne, The Cardigans, Amadou & Miriam, Depeche Mode, Leonard Cohen, John Hiatt, Soul Coughing, Billy Bragg & Natalie Merchant, OutKast, INXS (the new), Cranberries.
29. Did I forget to mention Justin Timberlake? Well then, Justin Timberlake!!
    
30. Messaged with friend via Facebook
    
31. Talked to husband when he came home from basketball
32. Thought, "What the hell am I doing up this late? Don't I have to get up at 5:40 for swimming?"
33. In the future, I will go to bed.
    

What I've Done

1. Started school
2. Taught 4 classes
3. Added too many students to my comp classes
   
4. Swam at 6 a.m.
5. Ran 6 miles
6. Played tennis
7. Made pizza in my small kitchen
8. Made chicken rice soup from homemade broth
9. Made a pot roast
10. Read a book
11. Watched the Golden Globes (and blogged about it at TWIT)
12. Went to an OC Meeting
13. Ate chocolate
14. Went out to a "the semester's starting, let's have a margarita" dinner with a colleague
15. Went to bed early and got a good night's sleep
16. Had coffee with a newly-laid-off colleague
17. Walked and had tea with a friend I haven't seen in a long time
18. Hung out with Son on his sick day and watched a terrible movie on Netflix
19. Put away (most of) the piles of paper that filled our living room
20. Reorganized some stuff

Okay. That's what I did.

Deciding to be Happy: The Small Kitchen

If you know me, and you do, you know I often lament the size of our tiny house (I feel I can call it tiny, as those who advocate living in the "small" house are often talking about 2,000 square feet, and our house is much smaller). Foremost among my complaints is the size of the kitchen.
Leave it to The Minimalist to shame me into satisfaction. This morning I read "So Your Kitchen Is Tiny, So What?" which is a great column about how he makes all his amazing meals in a tiny, NYC-apartment-sized kitchen (click on the link to the picture and be amazed).
I got to that column via today's column, "Fresh Start for the New Year? Let's Start in the Kitchen." It's a great list of must-haves for your pantry. (Pantry? Do I have a pantry? No.) I was pleased that many things on his list were already in my possession. Also, that I understood a lot of his tossed off recipes ("just steam this and throw in that" etc.). I have to admit that I do have the spray oil, (and packaged broth!) which I will use until gone and not replace (I may be a health freak, but I don't like to waste). But I also have real maple syrup, tomato paste in a tube, quinoa, and three kinds of rice.
I set out to find Mark Bittman because he wrote a book that extends Michael Pollan's argument (from In Defense of Food) called Food Matters, which includes recipes. I read about it on Salon. I've also wanted How To Cook Everything for awhile.
So, my first lesson in happiness this year comes from The Minimalist. It's not the size of the kitchen, it's the imagination of the chef.

My Day: A Photo Essay

I went to Soldier Hollow with a friend. It was 10 degrees.

The Death of the Superhero: A Lamentation

I know I am not going to endear myself to all the movie lovers out there with this one, but. But....MB and I finally saw "Dark Knight" and we were not, to put it mildly, impressed. We mostly thought it was too long and too violent. As MB said, that's 2 and a half hours of our lives we're never going to get back. It was hard not to think that for the price of "Dark Knight" one could make 8 or so independent films that aren't perfect, but still leave you with something. Something!
What did I not like about it? So many things. Too much pointless violence. I know, I know, "cartoon" violence, but the Joker didn't feel cartoony, he felt much too cynical and real, with his knives and crazy makeup.
The film didn't have a coherent narrative arc, it had about 3 sub-narratives, none of which were central and therefore none of which were satisfying.
The fight scenes? I have to agree with the Davids (Edelstein and Denby) that they were so confusing. I couldn't figure out what was going on half the time. And mostly I didn't care. I did like the one stunt with the semi that flipped over.
I know that Heath Ledger will probably get an Oscar, because he should have received one for "Brokeback," but I didn't find his performance that great. It was probably the best thing in the movie, but that's not saying much. I mostly kept thinking about the dark places he had to go to in order to play that kind of role, and how that led to his taking drugs in order to sleep and that led to his death. Pretty sad.
I forgot that I had taken a vow not to see any more violent movies, and now I will enforce that promise. Luckily, MB has taken it too.
Mostly, I'm sad that superhero movies are no longer for kids. All the superhero movies I've seen lately are not really pitched to kids ("Iron Man," "Hancock") in the way "Superman" was when we were kids. I know optimism and a belief in justice aren't really popular these days, but what's wrong with letting kids believe in Superman? That he could reverse time in order to save Lois Lane? It's cheesy, I know. It's beyond cheesy. But I, for one, am sad that we live in such a post-post modern era that the only superheroes we have are not suitable for children. Is it really so hard to make a movie in which the violence consists of a few punches to the jaw instead of a man with half a burned face threatening a child with a gun? I mean really.
Mostly I'm just bummed that the movie seemed so pointless. At the end, I was just glad it was over. And I was really, really tired.
(for the record, MB wants it noted that he also disliked the movie. Greatly.)

New Year's Resolutions: A Review

Here are my resolutions from last year, with a recap:

1. Go to bed earlier. (sleep is good!) *I don't think I accomplished this*
   
2. Exercise more. (Swimming, Running, Yoga) *This I definitely have accomplished. Recently*
   
3. Worry less. *Still unsuccessful on this front*
   
4. Ski this winter. *I did ski, but I want to ski more this year*
   
5. Be nicer. *I tried. Not sure if I succeeded. Maybe?*
   
6. Be more patient. *No*
   
7. Write more. *More? Maybe? Probably not*
   
8. Read more. *Yes. Successful on this one.*
   
9. Watch less TV. *No.*
   
10. See more movies in the theater. (this one seems doable!) *Yes. I accomplished this*

So, all in all more success than not. This year, I'll limit myself to five.

1. Sleep. (sound familiar?)
2. Do a triathlon.
3. Write. (ie: finish The Novel)
   
4. Read.
5. Hang out with friends (dinners, movies, etc.)

I think getting rid of "more" insures success on the resolution front. And I'm all for success.

Year-End Wrap Up: Last Post for 2008

I guess I need to post before the clock strikes midnight. I am inspired by everyone's year end/ best of lists, but I'm not sure I can review the whole year right now, given that I am only one cup of coffee into what will surely prove to be a two cup day (at least...it may be a three cup day...).
So, in my muddled way, I will try to remember the highlights, best ofs, etc.

• Most surprisingly good movie: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
• Best vacation: I can't choose. Austin; Boulder, Utah; Pinetop/Flagstaff, AZ; Vegas
  
• Best Margarita: Mesa Grill, Las Vegas
• Best Martini: Four Seasons, Las Vegas
• Best New Drink: Watermelon Margarita (my backyard!)
• Favorite Book: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle
• Best Gift Received: Keen boots (from MB) and coat/scarf (from my mom)
• Best Gift Given: The Best of Ogden Nash and NBA socks (to MB)
• Best Activity: Ragnar Wasatch Back (because of the bonding with my teammates)
• Best Rediscovered Activity: Tennis
• Movie that should receive an Oscar, but won't: Slumdog Millionaire
• Favorite TV show (on DVD): Battlestar Galatica
• Favorite TV show (on TV): The Office, 30 Rock, Lipstick Jungle, Samantha Who? (I can't choose! I suck at these lists!)
• Favorite activity: Lunch & a Movie (with Lisa B!)
  
• Favorite newly discovered restaurant: Tin Angel
• Favorite newly discovered divey restaurant: Victor's Tires & Tamales
• Favorite workout: Master's swimming
  
• Best Item I Made: Peach cake
• Best Item I Ate: (suffering from immediacy) stuffed peppers at Cafe Madrid; sweet potato tamale at Mesa Grill; Winter Green ravioli at Union Square Cafe; Mushroom Soup at Ems; Bread Pudding at Hell's Backbone; Conejo paella at Sylvia & Don's.

That's all I can think of. I'm sure I left something out...but if I remember, I'll mention it next year. See you all on the other side.

Sleeping In

The conditions under which I, a mother of a seven-year-old boy, am able to sleep in:

• son is safely stowed at friend's house for sleep over;
  
• drank a considerable amount the night before including, but not limited to: one mojito type cocktail, numerous glasses of red wine, a glass of port;
• ate a considerable amount the night before including, but not limited to: warm frisee salad with Camembert and grape vinaigrette, lamb chop with dried apricots, pomegranate, and Israeli couscous, various chocolate desserts;
• sat up reading while trying to digest;
• went to bed around or after midnight;
• was awakened at 4:37 a.m. by a stranger trying to get into our house;
• laid in bed, heart pounding, while MB patrolled the front door, called the police, then observed four squad cars and their various activities for about one hour;
• tried to go back to sleep around 5:30 a.m., unsuccessfully;
• finally went to sleep, eventually, only to awaken with a start at 10:57 a.m.

And this, friends, is the story of how I learned that I could, indeed, sleep in.
(Also, it turns out, that the guy was probably drunk and meant to go next door to his girlfriend's house, possibly, and the police made him do the drunk test, cuffed him and put him in the squad car, and searched his car with flashlights but then, maybe, just let him go? I'm not sure.)

Christmas Stats

Here is some of what we did over the last few days:

• Last minute Christmas Gifts purchased: three (all for MB, all purchased on Christmas Eve!)
• Cookies baked: four (peanut butter cornflake chocolate bars, seven layer bars, peanut butter kiss cookies, sugar cookies)
• Other baking: cranberry maple cake for Christmas breakfast
• Meals cooked: One (Christmas, Caesar salad, baked potatoes, steaks on the grill, easy!)
• Other cooking: Spanish style shrimp, which included three parts, making the garlic oil, making garlic chips, then finally cooking the shrimp.
  
• Tamales consumed: um...four? five? we ate some the 23rd, the 24th, etc etc etc. We still have some left and will be eating them for dinner tonight.
• Bottles of wine polished off: please don't make me divulge this number!
  
• Christmas movies watched: Three (Christmas Carol, the George C. Scott one; It's A Wonderful Life; A Christmas Story)
• Presents Opened: A gajilion? All for Son, of course, who got the haul which included a Lego Star Wars ship from Santa, a spirograph, a puzzle, two games, a Rubik's cube, numerous art supplies including a sketching kit and some painting canvases, a spyology book, night vision goggles, and some Wimpy Kid books. I got him some shirts and a sweater and an orange for his stocking!
• Gifts given: I got MB the NBA socks he so wanted, also two sweaters and The Best of Ogden Nash and a moleskin notebook. He also received a Godzilla action figure from Son, but I'll let him report on that. I gave my sister a bunch of movies, and my mom a book she wanted. That's all. Oh, and various gifts for the neices and nephew.
• Gifts received: a great exercise shirt and sweater from MB, also the London moleskin, complete with maps, etc, a book from Son. My mother got me a coat and crocheted a scarf to match. Cute! Lip stuff, Luna bars, cocktail napkins.
• Books read: one, The Subtle Knife. Now I'm on to The Amber Spyglass. I need to finish this series before school starts again!
• Trips out of the house: in the last two days? None! Which is why I need to get off my fat (cookie) ass and at least go for a walk. I don't want to drive anywhere, even though the hardworking civil servants are plowing and salting, even as I write this.
  
• Further festivities: a dinner with Jason's retauntuer friend, a dinner with Otterbutt and Sylvia. Then maybe I can stop drinking for a month. Or at least a week.

Merry Christmas to all! I wish you a fabulous 2009. I hope I get to see you all real soon!!

Nothing To Report

I wish I had something to say, but I don't. So here's my blog about nothing.
This morning I asked Son to choose between two of our traditional Christmas cookies and he chose both. So I guess that means that we have to make both. So this morning we'll make the peanut butter, chocolate kiss ones, sugar cookies tomorrow. I hope Son will eat more than his fair share, because I don't think I can eat very many (though I'm sure I will eat more than I should).
What are your favorite cookies readers? Here at our house, it's a tie between the seven layer bars and sugar cookies.
Happy baking and happy eating!